Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
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Top comments
mwschreck 0
If you paid for it thats your own fault, I would have made them make me another.
null_fml 11
The smart thing to do here would have been to calmly open up the box, take the pizza out, and whip it behind the counter at the idiot who did that.
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Comments (80)
blink182rocks 0
FIRST BITCHES
youreanidiot 0
think you're the only little bitch here... want a cookie? being first is some accomplishment
PumpkinTarte 0
Would not have been an FML if you complained after seeing it. And hopefully you did because otherwise you must be a real
blink182rocks 0
GO MAKE ME A COOKIE IN THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU BELONG! ASSUMING YOU'RE A FEMALE.
bailo 0
i think what #3 is trying to tell you, blink182, is shut the **** up. ok? i know this isn't in caps, but i'm hoping you're still able to understand it.
blink182rocks 0
I wasn't talking assface, I was typing. God, almost every person who posts on this site is ******* stupid.
kayceesaysfyl 0
@#8
Thunderbender 2
Failed.
Ajjas013 6
Today, I took a bite of my pizza. It tasted like man-juice. FML It's still pizza suck it up!
Mustardnight 3
Nummy i love salmonella pizza.
crazytoaster 2
Salmonella pizza sounds far more appealing than it should. @ The OP Wouldn't be an FML if you had looked at that pizza and said "get ****** i'm eating that". Then went somewhere else.
TheKeeder 0
SUE EM'!
mwschreck 0
If you paid for it thats your own fault, I would have made them make me another.
renaet 0
Same here! The story should have ended with: So I told that bitch off and got the manager involved and now I get free pizza for a year and I will probably gain 50 pounds because of it. FML
luv2laff 0
Your such an idiot... stop making things up on here. that was just way too much to add...
No_Heart 0
Americans just love complaining about things.
BritishHobo 0
Yeah, be non-American, suck it up and eat your trash.
DomK 0
Did you consider the possibility that probably the trash can was there for this very purpose? They have ti cut pizzas all day. So they have to wipe the knife all day. So there has to be a system for that. May be there was a trash can lined with a bag for this purpose and it's not unhygienic?
renaet 0
Obviously fuckhead. Of course that's too much to add but my point was that it was in no way a FML because it could have simply been resolved with her saying something. And I wouldn't give a flying **** if it was a trash with a bag on it. Trash is trash is trash. A bag doesn't make a difference because TRASH is still going in that direction. A wet rag or napkin would have been more reasonable.
keiran215 1
Notice, the OP is British, not American. yes, restaraunts do this shit all the time, but they could at least try to hide it
guitardedman 0
welcome to the restaurant industry.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
So true. Working in a restaurant made me stop going to restaurants, due to the things I've witnessed in the kitchen etc.
spiderman0606 0
Oh do tell.
Dante_Nakura 0
Well -You drop a piece of cutlery in front of a customer and using super sneaky sleight of hand give it back to them while looking like you got a new one. -You cut some chicken or something and turn around to toss it in the pan, turn back around to see your knife is missing. Later you see someone cutting vegetables with it and serving them raw... -The sweaty overweight chef (of which every restaurant has at least one) every so often has drops of sweat fall off his nose into the food. -The plates/cutlery are dirty when you pull them out of the dishwasher? Just wipe them with the cloth you have tucked into the back of your apron, which you also wipe everything else with. Such as spills on the edge of plates, your hands after they get covered in blood from the raw steak, the knife before you cut something, etc, etc. Need more or are you done?
welderchick87 0
Ew....that's incredibly disgusting. I'm never going out to eat again. :|
Maxine17 8
This doesn't happen at the place I work at! So I all suggest you come to England, on the Isle of Wight, and go to the White Lion pub in Arrreton! If it helps, Enter Shikari have been there.
null_fml 11
The smart thing to do here would have been to calmly open up the box, take the pizza out, and whip it behind the counter at the idiot who did that.
Late_night83 25
lol! awesome.
kayceesaysfyl 0
lmao. "almost everybody on this site is ******* stupid." oh, look an example. @blink182
blink182rocks 0
Great diss, douche bag. That wasn't even my quote, so you're a ******* idiot.
bailo 0
it doesn't have to be your quote to refer to you. #11 was just drawing some obvious comparisons.
whatevershesaid 0
Well FIRST is an example so, yeah....
blink182rocks 0
#11 is a dumb ass. :)
bailo 0
i have a feeling you're only saying this because you're angry, blink182
blink182rocks 0
I'M NOT ANGRY I'M ******* CONTENT! SEE CONTENT!
CyclonePsycho 1
I lol'd. :|
thereallauren 0
ahahahahha ahahahhahaha hahaha ahaha ha.
pinkkloverr 0
ewwww. this is why i don't eat at restaurants or any type of food served in public.
Jdlove2 20
Get out more man
Luckster 0
YDI it if you didn't complain about what you say and proceeded to pay for it anyways. SPEAK UP for crying out loud!
ben_wah_balls 0
But the question is.. did you eat it?
Starfire22 5
Yea, that's what I would like to know...
ensemble_coeur 0
that's unpleasant. perhaps you should report them to the health inspector or something.
TheTragicReturn 0
Yes, please do this. You could prevent MANY people from getting sick.