Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly turned it on to start using it. I was greeted by a photo of my father drunk, smiling, naked, and covered in peanut butter. FML
Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML
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Top comments
elinhjortskull 7
He's sexy and he knows it.
GoWithTheFro 10
Well, at least it's been a memorable year.
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Comments (139)
Jkolbly 11
Was he in the living room or did you walk in a bedroom? And why were you staring, was it interesting?
afulks78 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Can you stop asking so many dumb questions. :)
kyarush 10
Well I kissed a beautiful girl(: looks like we both had a good time! Thumbs up if you had a good new year!
gojira666 7
Jesus ****.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Jesus ****, the new god for the pornography religion: Pornism.
ScaughtieHolden 11
38, you know, hash tags don't work on here.
RaggleFrock 13
Does your uncle have a mustach?
kyarush 10
Well I guess you ******* had a bad night
lindseykcool 6
Well, OP, you didn't HAVE to watch.. :P
eurostar710 11
This would be from Maryland. Courtney, is that you? Haha. (I'm from MD too)
Jakey00 0
Don't say Jesus and **** in the same sentance...
eurostar710 11
126- anyone can say anything that they want. You get no say in the matter. It's called free speech. Jesus **** Jesus **** Jesus ****. Jesus ass. Jesus dick.
teentee401 37
I love you, 128.
GoWithTheFro 10
Well, at least it's been a memorable year.
poopyfacegirl 28
Well...
cocofruity123 0
Yeah, great memories...
Danny0522 8
I dont see the problem with this FML
geon_olam 17
Obviously OP is upset cuz the uncle was using up all the olive oil and there was none left for the salad. Learn to read between the lines, man!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
And at least her uncle is now buttery soft and 120% more huggable naked.
NanillaVipples 2
And that's a crazy first few seconds for 2012!
richards621 9
this might be the best comment i've ever seen on here?
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
Interesting family you have.
Betz 10
Did olive the other relatives stare too?
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
Who knows. ;)
monkeysareyummy 0
Orange you glad he didn't try to hug you?
jbaby69 0
That's hot
SecretMe00 5
Oooooooo so so hot
Zeppelin1969 5
I just threw up a little.
elinhjortskull 7
He's sexy and he knows it.
Honziie 1
The visual is amazing
ScaughtieHolden 11
Are you imagining your drunk naked uncle with a Jew-fro dancing to this? Because that doesn't sound amazing...
ClassyCommando 13
The real FML here is that OP did not have the presence of mind to pit this on YouTube.
CABOOSE8563 0
Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle
mstangchck 9
FYL indeed
bobthebuilder33 3
Sounds deece.
ninjaboy18 6
Better than my last few seconds of 2011..
fancyclown 9
And everyone sitting at home on facebook for the last few seconds, while hovering their mouse curser over the post button on a "Happy New Years!" status.
Zoranius 6
OR you just do it on your smartphone?
luckyd880 12
At least it's a new year so you can put the past behind you.
jaylepinos 0
You have such beauriful eyes young lady
boo_bee_fur_me 2
Holy **** that was great ^
IKickPuppiesHard 16
It's hard to rub the oil in the middle of your back; did you help him out?