Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
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Top comments
curzy 6
assault. file a police report Lol.
Jewelofagal 2
Don't know why you went along with the Mother's "evil giant" comment. It's not good to cater to people who insult you. Should this ever happen again, consider saying with a stone-cold facial expression, "Pardon? I'm not a giant and I'm not evil."
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Comments (157)
l3allin_all_day 0
first bitch
givants 0
highlight of your life...
jrojas211 0
watch me...... I'll be next...
I_iz_special 0
wow I don't know how much of a stretch this is but can't you sue or get her arrested for assault or something along those lines?
Mpsteve13 7
kick the kid next time
Houndourpup 0
Stereotyping is practically yours.
Max24LW 0
@boyfromthefuture that shit was hilarious
changesinme 0
she had mistaken you for a boy-hungry pedophile
curzy 6
assault. file a police report Lol.
allenrotstein 0
He's gotta be Welsh or from Wales...
allenrotstein 0
He's gotta be Welsh or from Wales
seanders 10
Should have slapped the bitch back. If women don't want to be struck by men, then don't hit men for stupid reasons
skittle68 0
Agreed seanders!! women shouldn't hit men any more than men should hit women.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
dont file for assault cuz then you would be a evil giant pussy or a giant evil pussy or an evil pussy giant. sorry it's been a long couple of days.
DinoPirate 0
I can only assume that your big evil giant looks more like a big evil pedophile. I'm never letting you on my charades team.
whoisthisgirl 4
wouldn't being from wales make you welsh...
Peacemaker9 7
lol @ 43
dane4422 0
make the son of a bitch go to jail
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of and angry mum!
_TONGAN_ 5
I'm kinda pissed that 21s face shows up twice in a row of the comment thread...like I wanna slap him for some reason
chewbacca69 0
kick that bitch in the ******
LeFrogDog 27
warm up ur back hand and bitch slap her, will she's on the ground be like, I better not see ur ugly mug round me again, then slap again for good measure
iwuvwolfz 0
lol 79 I see you've taken stupified's pic(forgot how to spell his name xD)
edsmith 0
take your clothes off
BanjoCheeseGuy 26
#76 but the kid isn't the one who slapped op
Jewelofagal 2
Don't know why you went along with the Mother's "evil giant" comment. It's not good to cater to people who insult you. Should this ever happen again, consider saying with a stone-cold facial expression, "Pardon? I'm not a giant and I'm not evil."
nerdsgetmehot 23
#4 Agreed. I would have just given them both the ol' evil eye and walked away.
Alkix 2
Or crushed their bones and eat them for supper. You might keep the child in your rucksack for a tasty treat later that evening.
e_pi_i_plus1 0
I think something should definitely been done in retaliation. I get plenty of weird looks because of my height. People who comment on it annoy me. "evil giant" might have caused me to snap. I'm 6'8", so most frequently, I get, "how's the weather up there" or "do you play basketball".. To the first I respond : it's raining, and then I start hawking a loogie. To the later, I respond, "no, I'm into competitive limbo"
BoyFromTheFuture 0
"evil giant...no, that's just what I call my dong" she still would have slapped you but it would have been for a good reason.
macgirl21 0
yea, what the mother said wasn't very nice an was quite insulting. but what you recommend isn't exactly great either, its more like it was pointless just like what the mother said
Tempuser117 2
@ e_pi_i_plus1 I get that all the time. When they say "Wow your tall, do you play basketball?" You should respond with "Wow your short, are you a jockey?"
raineydayes 0
Same here 83!!! Just the other day my universitie's womens basketball coach tried to convince me to play basketball for her because I "have some good size on me." (I'm 6'0") Who the hell says stuff like that??? I just walked away. Aha.
Xavi89 0
sixth bitch!!
goloso 0
ouch lol fyl...
i_wuz_nver_here 31
it'd be funnier if op was a dude.
XhugzX 0
i agree with #3 sue for all she has lol
Tikwichka 5
Why would anyone even think about suing over something so petty as this?
FunkyAndFresh 7
She's American, suing is practically there culture.
Bubbelz 25
Because that woman is retarded and a danger to tall people.
InfiltratedMind 0
@86 the rules of FML clearly state no duche bags. please clear the premises immediately.
FunkyAndFresh 7
#113. although the rules do not state this... no Justin beiber hair cuts.
thegreenguy 0
yeah dude you are so right also Americans are kinda. stupid... just sayin
luigisf 0
and apparently generalizing people because of nationality is in you non-american's culture. we are still the richest, and most powerful country in the world. and remember that if we wanted, we could destroy any other country in the world quite easily. this is mostly attributed to mixed races and diversity acceptance in the military except for gays. best military in the world.
Cinn_fml 23
...But that doesn't make it the right solution.
ahhhchew 7
a year late here, but it says they are from the UK
nadia716 3
WOW :O That lady was a bitch for insulting you and THEN slapping you for playing along with her insult.
dontyawishyaknew 12
It amazes me that someone would insult a person and then go out of her way to physically harm that person bc they played along with it...
perdix 31
Mimes deserve to be slapped! What do you want? A tip, you irritating, no-talent hack!
ManBearP1g 0
I think by "mimed an evil giant" OP means acted like a creepy pedophile.
r6_fml 4
Put them freakishly long legs to use and drop-kick her in the fun bags.
Petawhitney 2
Sue for assault, then it'll be F HER L.