Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
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Top comments
Nikkitaria 9
Let me guess... You tried to settle the fight by offering to take the last slice?
JustinKirby 20
You learned your lesson I guess, mind your own business OP! Sorry you got hit but next time watch from a distance and stay out of it
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Comments (81)
JustinKirby 20
You learned your lesson I guess, mind your own business OP! Sorry you got hit but next time watch from a distance and stay out of it
JustinKirby 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I mean sometimes you have to get involved but just try to call the cops next time. However, if it's to save some stupid kids life over a slice of pizza than it's kindof worth getting involved :/ so I mean you didn't deserve to get hit, but you should have known there was a strong possibility you might get hurt jumping into the middle of a fist fight
potatoboy33 11
Maybe be a bit more carefull in the future, Op!
then000bster 16
It's pizza!! You always fight over the last piece. Maybe not with a fist fight, but with Rock Paper Scissors.
starile 20
Jeezus, bludgeoning a person with a rock or slicing them with paper or scissors over a slice of pizza?? That sounds like hobo UFC fighting right there! I'd watch! *grabs popcorn*
RedPillSucks 33
Just don't grab the last slice of pizza
KushCrushin89 10
Always remember the golden rule. He who has the pizza, makes the rules.
tjv3 10
If you are not prepared or equipped to handle the situation then you should mind your own business.
Rhoperix 7
Damn, that sucks op... But at least you tried to do the right thing! FYL.
hghrider123456 9
Must have been some damn fine pizza
tommylover842 23
Pizza is pizza, it doesn't have to be especially delicious.
Allennis44 16
I first read it as "I saw two kids fisting in the street"...Needless to say, I was confused
JoeGrant 12
You really got a piece of their mind, OP.
Robbieisadowg 16
Well.... Who won the slice?
Robbieisadowg 16
Oops that comment was in reply to the wrong comment! Sorry!
reneebellinger 8
You deserve the last slice for that!
A07 48
You deserved it op, pizza is serious stuff!
Nikkitaria 9
Let me guess... You tried to settle the fight by offering to take the last slice?
iamtheinsomniac 11
Were they drinking fruit punch?
tbabyfosho 7
ignorant.
awsamb 8
I would have done the same.
threer 30
I would have taken it and ran. >v>
DedicatedNova 13
Fighting is dangerous. Keep your distance, bro.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Drugs are bad, mmmkay?
blueknight1st 26
That's what you get for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.