Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML
Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeaxel 24
That's actually pretty funny. I'm sorry op
Black_Knight80 13
an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Haha yea right! sorry OP
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Comments (80)
Awesomeaxel 24
That's actually pretty funny. I'm sorry op
Adeptasaurus 12
In a few weeks I'm sure you will laugh it off. It's a good story nonetheless.
BrickTamlandLamp 13
Well at least you're known for something... Sorry OP
pjsr 33
It would make a great show: 'When Apples Attack!'
LexSwift 17
I am 90% asleep, so there is a possibility I'm wrong, but isn't there a typo in the FML? Shouldn't it say "through the apple" instead of "though the apple"? I really hope my lack of sleep isn't causing me to look like an idiot. Apologies in advance!
BecauseImAwesome 4
Well it's best not to be the grammar police when you're 90% asleep #57
incoherentrmblr 22
At least you didn't mistake a light bulb for an apple like in the movie Occulus...
mydumblifesucks 20
I hope you're okay now. Sorry, OP.
sweetestbitcheva 14
That's horrible OP. Haters are just jealous of you.
barakados 11
.... What?
wannabeactress71 8
Man, I wish I punched myself with an apple ):
euphoricness 28
It's never too late, 22. Heh I just did it a couple of times now! :€
meredith_ks 8
Or they think eating a loud ass apple IN CLASS is inconsiderate.
Slugable 7
I'm sorry for you OP :( and I hope you are OK now.
Black_Knight80 13
an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Haha yea right! sorry OP
cakefete2 31
Only if you throw the apple at the doctor.
juan3611 14
#40 this comment made my day XD
DracoSpirita 21
I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe I should bring an apple with me and throw it at her.
hersheykisses511 18
An apple a day keeps anyone away if thrown hard enough
maty172 14
That's a fantastic way to make applesauce!
emilycardona7 18
Well you did, lol
Cloverz 6
Oh poor you.. sorry OP.. I hope they will forget that in a couple of days..
GoatInABag 14
That's pretty funny but still sucks. You should try to embrace it of they don't forget.
Lomus 24
I'm confused, how the hell does that happen?