Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
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Top comments
triplebeerox 27
You definitely need to talk to the mom so she doesn't think you're molesting her kid
Johnnycake23 42
Kids are little demons!
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Comments (86)
Johnnycake23 42
Kids are little demons!
blazingshot147 19
Woah, hold up. This kid just may not know what he's saying. I think it's time he just needs to be taught about what he just said. Though, it would never hurt to have OP explain what happened too.
Johnnycake23 42
True but kids can be evil little demons. I saw that a 12 year old tried to poison her mother twice for taking her iPhone away.
KxHoneyCombxP 24
No joke. My 3yr old has had the nickname "Demonic" since he was 1.5. His name is Dominic.
kibster9 20
I was thinking that the mom could just ask the kid where he touch him, so there is no confusion.
joana_g_06 19
I know a story about a man being in jail for 6 years, loosing his job and dignity because his 9 yo stepdaughter told her mother that he had touched her down there. Why? She was jealous because they were planning on having a kid together.
Johnnycake23 42
See that? That's life ruining demon shit!!
heryseshta 9
Sad to say that I agree with you. I think a lot of it has to do with the parents though.
alex_the_tiger 14
Hopefully she will believe you, maybe he just needs proper explanation of private areas.
Enslaved 38
Or hopefully she'll believe her child. All the mom needs to do is ask her kid where he was touched and figure it out.
triplebeerox 27
You definitely need to talk to the mom so she doesn't think you're molesting her kid
Sethan01 24
Thanks tips!
amandasoushek 16
Isn't it your sister or sister-in-law? Since it's the nephew, I'm sure the mom would understand and realize her kid is lying or stretching the truth...
amandasoushek 16
Sorry, not your sister, but OP's sister/sister-in-law
thespiantess 18
Unfortunately most cases of molestation come from people close to the child, such as parents, step-parents, uncles/aunts, family friends... So yeah, although it is an unfortunate situation, it wouldn't be unusual if OP's sister/sister-in-law doubted OP's word.
paigerei 11
That'll be interesting to explain.
buckstop1 37
You think that's bad? My 7 and 8 year old cousins were caught licking each other in private areas. Try explaining that.
WattledParsley 11
Did you really need to tell everyone that #53
buckstop1 37
#60 I just felt this FML needed my input :P
Queenie2014 11
.......................
walker9879 25
@64 you thought wrong
ButHow 13
Hopefully his mom will be understanding.
1dvs_bstd 41
The explanation to his mother would not have been easy. And she'll always give you the 'got my eyes on you' look.
ValariaJet 12
I hated being tickled as a kid. It was horrible - because I was laughing when I said stop they wouldn't stop. Kid probably has the same thing and some phrasing issues. Your sister will understand. :)
Izabushel 65
I hated being tickled as a kid as well. Still do. People do it too hard and it hurts. Laughing can be a nervous response and not always an indication that the person laughing is having fun. Saying 'bad spots' could be his way of saying he is being touched in a way he does not like. He most likely has been given the talk about reporting people who touch him inappropriately. He's probably trying to tell OP not to tickle him.
cristy91 33
I got tickled so hard by family members I would cry :( only about two years ago did I start letting my boyfriend touch my stomach cuz I would have tickle flashbacks. Don't tickle kids hard, people
Izabushel 65
I also wonder how many times this kid said "No! Stop!", but were ignored because they were laughing involuntarily?
lulinator 40
I also hate being tickled. I punched a boyfriend out once because he wouldn't stop. That ended that relationship! I do tickle my kids though, relentlessly. I'll have to stop soon though, because after you're not a kid anymore, it's just annoying as hell.
fantasyworld 39
I hate being tickled and it's annoying how you tell the person to stop but they won't.
thespiantess 18
The laugh that comes from tickling is almost always an involuntary panic response from the body, so it's normal that most people feel terrified when it comes to being tickled.
kikoma 32
I wonder if the kid understands that his mother might misunderstand what he's said.
mwali02 32
No, he probably doesn't. The kid is three. It will get better from here. There are still a lot of teaching opportunities for the entire family. But at three years old, I doubt that he realized the potential implications of what he said. Good thing kids grow! :)
texasmade817 5
obviously not, I doubt a kid under 5 years old knows about molestation
LittleBells 17
And they say adults are the evil ones.
ez2LOVE 13
oh that's embarrassing and sucks OP, hopefully family would be more understanding than someone you don't know that well! don't beat yourself up about it, but at least the kid is aware and knows to tell a trusted adult about potential abuse!