Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RodzillaX 30
Those lines do get very long and boring.
cuppycakeslove 20
Ugh, call security, that's public indecency and so disrespectful if its a family park.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
B5B0N35 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I have lost faith in the new generation of kids
redwrath 16
Your profile pic is the same as this swagfag troll on ifunny
redwrath 16
Your profile pic is the same of a swagF@g from ifunny :0
DorklyComicFan 8
This isn't how all people are. There is so much more beauty in this world to give you hope. Cheers, mate.
bingbongbingbong 11
Sorry to tell you but you are part of the new generation of kids
B5B0N35 18
I know i am but i dont do all this kind of things
lilhellian 27
Where does it say their age? For all you know they could be in their 40's.
JaneChemi_fml 21
well the fact that op said "girl", not "woman"
lilhellian 27
Personally when someone acts immature I don't call them "woman" as that to me implies a little bit of maturity.
bingbongbingbong 11
Click on his profile pic
hessel 13
#38 the guy on your profile pic isnt you. i have seen that picture a thousand times on the app ifunny
piff7 14
@38 Neither do most of us. It's just the fact that the kids that are causing this generation to get a bad reputation get the highlights. Nobody complains if someone does something good, so nobody is told about it. When kids are bad people hear about it. I wouldn't say our generation is bad. It's the fact that there are kids out there that are bad that make the generation bad. You seem to be one of the ignorant people that add to it being bad at least a little bit from what I can tell.
LittleBastard 20
#58 Maybe he is the guy from iFunny. I've noticed quite a few posts on there are snapshots of FML's, then people ask where its from and well... Here they are.
Poppipuff 14
I'm sure that kind of thing never happened before with the previous generations.
154rct 7
How do you know how old they are?
RodzillaX 30
Those lines do get very long and boring.
mFUNdo21 17
I suppose they had to entertain themselves somehow... although it was highly inappropriate
CallMeMcFeelii 14
If I was OP I'd of smacked her boyfriend on the back of the head. There's a time and place for everything, doing that in front of children is unacceptable.
Zebediabolical 45
Because hitting people in front of your kids is such a great example to set. Also, some people will slap back.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I'm not saying full out haymaker the son of a bitch, I mean a tap on the back of the head. If you're just going to stand there and let people do shit like that in front of your children, you aren't setting much of an example either. Sure, OP could have walked away, which would be the best option, but standing there letting them get away with such a lewd act is ridiculous.
Zebediabolical 45
You'll still be teaching the kids it's ok to slap someone they don't know. Depending on their ages they may not understand proportional violence. And depending on the person you slap you may be inviting a haymaker in return. Now I'm not saying let it go or walk away, but it is almost never ok to lay hands on another person without their consent or a warrant. Call them out on it, sure. Call security or publicly shame them. But a physical assault of any sort in front of children? Just as wrong as the public groping that incited it.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Everyone handles certain situations differently. As you and I both have completely different ideas. From how they reacted to OP politely asking them to stop, it seems like they wouldn't be too ashamed when security comes through. I don't think you understand what I meant by tap. Have you ever had someone tap you on the shoulder to get your attention? If someone would start a brawl over that then they rightly deserve an ass kicking, especially if you have your children in tow. I don't have kids, so I can't speak from experience, but shit like that shouldn't go unnoticed. OP asked once, he really shouldn't have to ask again.
Zebediabolical 45
It started off as 'smack them on the back of the head' not 'tap them on the shoulder to get their attention'.
Mjwnenrjs 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Damn, lucky guy!
cuppycakeslove 20
Yeah what a lucky guy, he's getting his junk touched at a family park in front of children. Sooo sexy.
raphanne_fml 33
And his girlfriend is a disrespectful twat. Lucky guy indeed!
Ameel_fml 19
Gross. What's so "lucky" about being groped in a public place without your consent by a random stranger with god-knows-what on her hands? D:
SlapAndTickle 20
Learn to read #35.
ShyAnn29 15
37, just because it was her boyfriend, doesn't mean he gives her permission to grope him whenever she feels like it. I think that's what #35 means. Edit: Oops sorry, I didn't read 35's comment correctly
Ameel_fml 19
Whoops. No, I did mis-read it. I thought the fml said the girl did it to the OP's boyfriend. Still, that's gross and bizarre, and it boggles my mind that people think it's ok to do those sorts of things in public. D:
graceinsheepwear 34
OP is a man anyway, 50.
zaise_chsa 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Should have tapped the hand that was down his pants. Technically she hit his nuts.
Broadway_Vayne 32
FYL Op if the line was long hopefully just left and came back to that attraction later.
mFUNdo21 17
your comment is a bit ambiguous...
Mshrodes 13
He's trying to communicate... Here's my interpretation : he thinks that OP should have left the line and come back later. And thus hopes the line before him was long so he wouldn't be "missing" the chance anyway.
Enslaved 38
"So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up"
HaleiJ 16
Bahaha, you've made my night!! You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough. You're out of bounds!
ZingZilla 8
I want you smothered, I want you covered just like my Waffle House hash browns.
jem970 19
Comin' quicker than fedex
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Never reach an apex Just like coca-cola stock
acid_moose 7
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like daylight saving time
NissanDriftKing 4
You and me baby me aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do it on the discovery channel
LemonandLime 13
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel. Do do do do do do do do.... *music interlude*
arroberts 10
Gettin' horny now da da da da da da da da
LemonandLime 13
Way to ruin it 143.
blackvyper 8
Don't be such a ******* prude!
Ambient25 25
She's right OP, and to further it you should punch her boyfriend in the balls and say "and see kids, this is what blue balls are..."
Enslaved 38
I always thought blue balls were something else. Those sound like black & blue balls. :P
corocoro 30
Or scrambled eggs.
Nekogami 14
Scrambled eggs would involve punching the girl in the junk.
Punkyxoxo 14
o_O
guci101 14
Well it's not exactly the bf's fault. He shoul have stopped her but still. That would be pretty uncool
Punkyxoxo 14
Well what i see is a couple of future porno stars
Caitie_kid 8
He should have just called everyone's attention to them, perhaps they would have then felt embarrassed or someone would have physically made them stop. F*cking pervs. Who does that kind of shit in front of someone's kids!?!?