Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
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Top comments
lolasains 7
Smart mom you got there.
Sinamoi 18
Poor squirrel...
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Comments (266)
iBluePancake 4
aww i bet your mother was a wreck. don't give her a hard time about it. she didnt know what else to do at the moment
mattorama 15
Given what she thought would be a good idea, "nothing" would be been FAR preferable.
RabidBunny 10
My god...people these days! Now that poor squirrel is going to have to spend many acorns to deal with this issue in squirrel therapy! Shame on your mother.
Jesus_Christ69 0
The squirrel is dead, moron. There's no squirrel therapy in heaven. Come on now.
RabidBunny 10
Really? The squirrel is dead, when it says, "she had tried, UNSUCCESSFULLY, to end the suffering of an injured squirrel"? -__- like I said...people these days...
Jesus_Christ69 0
No it died later on.
Marcella1016 32
37 is right, of course. Even though the FML said nothing about the squirrel dying later on, we should listen to him because he's Jesus and he knows all. -_-
Shindib 2
lol it did die later on
shots1996 8
20$ says the squirell tried to commit suiside after that
wittygirl 8
Wow she's nuts
kamikrazy 6
I see what you did their
KiddNYC1O 22
there* Damn.
EllyMo 15
What did she need help with? O.o
brianjman14 23
She thought THAT would end it's suffering? It would only make it suffer more.
KiddNYC1O 22
its* Sorry, I'm just bored.
corylock 7
That's some funny shit.
Vball6 19
Poor squirrel...
Vball6 19
Double post. Oops.
Vball6 19
Poor squirrel...
Rddvl 11
Shoulda just let the humane society take care of it. Or a cat..
Sinamoi 18
I'm on it.
Marcella1016 32
lmao
emochicksrule 1
Your mom's crazy