Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
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Top comments
lolasains 7
Smart mom you got there.
Sinamoi 18
Poor squirrel...
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Comments (266)
2009GSXR600 0
A bb gun would have been the best way
skyeyez9 25
What happened to it after the unsuccessful attempt to drown it?
keepingitnasty 15
Your mom is nuts.
GetHardOrGoHome 7
Agreed
skyeyez9 25
I drowned when I was 4. I am 33 and still remember it vividly. My.brother shoved me off of our inflatable raft and I couldnt swim. I held my breath till it felt like my lungs hurt so bad, and I automatically breathed in the ocean water. Oddly, breathing in the water didn't hurt. I soon blacked out and woke up on the beach to my mom slapping my face and a crowd surrounding me.
Shelta957 13
Cool story bro
BeautyMonster 17
You drowned? I didn't know you could get FML in Heaven.
bubo_fml 11
**** the clothes...I'd be more concerned about the Mum's homicidal tendencies!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That's straight up insane. Who drowns a squirrel? And at that in their own poo machine? At least go to the neighbors if you're planning on aggressively kill a squirrel.
heartcloud_fml 3
Is she mentally stable?
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
how drunk was she...
ep346913 0
Poor squirrel. But next time tell her to let nature flow.
HahaYDI 0
RIP squirrel.