Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
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Top comments
lolasains 7
Smart mom you got there.
Sinamoi 18
Poor squirrel...
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Comments (266)
Shindib 2
I submitted this while from my phone earlier today! Haha! The story is actually my sisters. This happened between the two of them. I just had to attempt to get this onto this site! Haha! Awesome!
Angelrose2004 17
So what happened to the squirrel!? Don't leave us with an open-ending! Or maybe I should ask what happened to your mother after this. Hmmmm...
Shindib 2
Tbh, this is my sister's story. This event happened between her and my mother. The story is 10 times better when it is told in full by my sister. Basically, my mother found an injured squirrel in the backyard that the dogs were pestering, so she put on some gloves and managed to get hold of it and get it inside to attempt to drown it in the toilet. If you knew my mother, this act alone is one deserving of the Medal of Honor. She can not handle situations in which someone or something is hurt and needs help. She gets all worked up and upset and we can't help but laugh our asses off at it. (We once saw a car go through a red light and plow into another car, sending it tumbling through the air. The car landed about 20 feet away from us. She put the car in park, in the middle of the road, with me still in it, screamed at me to "STAY IN THE CAR", and then attempted to help the person in the flipped vehicle. How? By running a circle around a giant parking lot looking for someone to call 911. Note that there were 15 other people there to help. After running her big circle, she jumped back into the car and we took off. I felt bad for the person involved in the accident but I couldn't stop laughing at how my mother handled that situation.) So finally she screamed for my sister to come help her. My sister jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. She still has the picture of a half full laundry basket sitting next to an open toilet bowl that is filled with her clothes. My mother tried to drown it by pushing it down into the water with the first thing she could find.. a basket full of clean clothes.. my sisters clean clothes.. my entire family and all of our friends knew about this story within hours lol it was hilarious.. As for the poor squirrel, I do believe they finally succeeded in "ending its suffering" :/
cyrusyoman 5
retard, where did he use improper grammar?
beccalyn244 4
wtf your mother is a crazy bitch!
kattyeyedkay 0
Your mom needs medical help
hateevryone 15
it's bad enough the poor squirrel was already injured. your mother needs help
Gregabob00 0
The squirrel had rabies. Your moms been infected. Time to out her out of her misery.
samaroo0 0
Next time hide your clothes
clutz123 5
the poor squirrel!!! i would be more worried about it and less about the clothes, you can wash those
Sab0026 0
You're mother is a sick bitch.
1kiki81 6
How did she get the squirrel?
Shindib 2
She put on a glove and picked it up. It didn't run away.