Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML
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Top comments
yahoowizard 16
Shoulda put the toilet on mute before flushing, be more considerate now
eltapatio16 5
Don't flush it next time. Leave a surprise for her in the morning!
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Comments (81)
aaronfuegopop 7
Wow. Sucks.
yahoowizard 16
Shoulda put the toilet on mute before flushing, be more considerate now
milkndstufff 7
***the iToilet
kelissa_fml 16
Or used a trash can and gave her the bag...
miserypoison 13
Make sure the firmware is above 4.2 or else the vomit won't be compatible with iToilet's iOS.
bfrench95 0
After her speech you should have just puked right on her for a good morning to her :)
waswashere 0
iOS 5 has a better flushing system. And it will link toilets in your house together in the Iseptic
chlorinegreen 27
At least you made it to the toilet...
waswashere 0
Chlorinegreen- you're killing the vibe
ZebcoGirl 0
Everyone has been gettin sick around where I live. I was throwing up last night also. It freakin sucks.
waswashere 0
50- you wouldn't have that problem with an itoilet. They don't get viruses. But they're expensive
ZebcoGirl 0
63- I will have to look into that.
waswashere 0
Make sure you read the terms and conditions first though. Bad things have happened to those who didn't
ZebcoGirl 0
69- I appreciate the warning
YtotsDI 0
Oh that's fine don't use the iToilet use the iShitNoMore. Not as satisfying but it works all the same.
eltapatio16 5
Don't flush it next time. Leave a surprise for her in the morning!
Chaos187 6
Damnit..you beat me to it...FUUUUUUUU
Jaxx66 21
Or instead of leaving her a surprise you can go to the kitchen sink and run the garbage disposal for as long as you want. But put other things in it too, so it's noisier.
Zeppelin1969 5
Something similar happened to me, and she locked me out of the house for an hour. I had the flu, and threw up all outside of the house, then passed out.
forthepainx3 0
good morning?
Dodge4x4Ram 46
madness is like Gravity,,all you need is a little push,,JOKER (Dark Knight)
shannonreneee 11
Type like a normal person!
Jaxx66 21
I was thinking more along the lines of: "Choose a quote that fits the situation" But maybe that's just me.
thisisafunnyname 12
"this is a quote that fits the situation" -wiz khalifa
benderbot19 0
"I like turtles" Jonathan the zombie
flockz 20
"that beaver should not be on my nuts." -Samuel L Jackson
coolboy675 16
"I like trains." - I Like Trains Kid
Zeppelin1969 5
I had a puppy named Adolph. He had kittens! -the Retarded Policeman
W1ngnu7 5
5- yes! Just yes
ElectricGhost_fml 5
she should be thankful you didn't throw up on her face when she was yelling at you!
cocodecoeur 12
Well you've should tell her: Better out than in
wriptidez 0
she needs to discover mercy towards others ...woweee
MRSMOJORISIN_fml 0
You should start flushing the toilet over and over again. Just to get back at her :)
fancyclown 9
[Insert picture of starving children in third world countries without access to clean drinking water here]
LolCakes111 7
Sounds like something a crazy mother-in-law would do in order to attempt to break up your relationship...
murdersquirrel 15
Except for the fact that that would be a different situation almost entirely.
downtime 13
The only way it is similar in circumstance is that the villain has a ******.