Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
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Top comments
lolasains 7
Smart mom you got there.
Sinamoi 18
Poor squirrel...
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Comments (266)
thantomaniac 0
Sodomized it with a splintered broomstick.
TheDog6 24
Well, if they clean their toilet regularly, it isn't terribly bad. I mean, yea it's not the best thing in the world, and I wouldn't want this to happen to me, but the water in your toilet is the same stuff that comes out of your faucet.
PandasEatYou 5
This is disturbing. If the squirrel is in pain and you want to help, call a vet or someone who can take care of it. If your going to kill a squirrel or any animal to put it out of it's suffering snap it's neck. If you can't do it don't you'll just end up hurting it more.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Ever drowned? Drowning is probably the least humane way to kill an animal. :/ cervical dislocation, decapitation, pithing, or anything else that destroys the brain stem or it's connection from the body is the humane way to do it if you don't have a way to gas it. Engine starter spray which is 70% or more ether is the best easy to buy gas for humanely ending a small animals suffering. Seriously though, a damn brick to the head would of been kinder then what this idiot woman tried. Her heart may have been in the right place. Too bad she lacked any brains for actually doing it and if she didn't know how- google it for gods sake.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Dinner? :p
moshimoshi1993 8
You know to much about killing something...
GUNZnRAIGN 6
haha man thats something my mom would do.. poor squirrel
LennyComa 39
Poor squirrel...shoulda taken if to a vet or something where they would euthanise the animal if necessary...but that is,expensive I guess...still poor squirrel
MerrikBarbarian 9
You can euthanize a squirrel or similar sized animal or smaller at home with a rag sprayed with engine starter in a jar. Stick rag in the jar, spray with engine starter fluid, quickly insert animal into jar and close lid. It will pass out in seconds, and die shortly thereafter. Engine starter uses ether mainly- the same chemical a lot of places use to kill small animals. It's very humane. Some vets won't even see wild animals because of the risk of lice, fleas and mange.
angrynegro7 16
FYL, OP. Your mom is obviously a special kind of stupid for trying to kill off our lord and master Foamy! You will both feel the wrath of his nuts!!!
ohSNAPyall 27
Don't bring Rain Man into this. Definitely not cool.