Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
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Top comments
lolasains 7
Smart mom you got there.
Sinamoi 18
Poor squirrel...
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Comments (266)
Omega_Mus 7
Aw...how sweet. To end suffering with more suffering. Makes perfect sense to me.
jaredjudd21 2
I think your mom is getting a little squirrelly.
UsEumYong 4
She picked up a dying squirrel...and brought it inside...and not only did she not stop there, she stuffed it in the toilet and went away to grab your clothes and come back to finish the job...
Jchicas 0
Wow your mom's bat shit crazy! Who does that? You better watch out you could be next.
iizcalebhearmero 0
YDI so much. A squirrel died very painfully and slowly but all you care about is that a few of your clothes got ruined. You are a heartless bitch OP.
cake_is_lie 1
OP was obviously not mad just about the clothes, they were mad at the whole scenario.
Death124512 3
#111 OP did state that their mother was un-sucsessful in killing the squirrel so they focused on the next biggest matter on hand. maybe OP had to go somewhere important like on a business trip or a meeting for her job? her mother is the one to blame for 1, being stupid enough to end the suffering through a more slow, painful way that wouldn't make any sense what-so-ever, and 2, bringing the squirrel inside in the first place.
Shindib 2
They both cared about the squirrel (my mother and sister) but my sister was mostly just very very confused at first... my mom was very upset and crying and all my sister could see was a bunch of clothes in the toilet bowl with a half empty laundry basket sitting next to it.. when the squirrel finally died (drowned or just died from the stress of almost drowning... don't know which... YES ITS HORRIBLE I KNOW BUT MY MOTHER DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE STUFF LIKE THIS LOL) my sister leaned over the bowl and quietly said to my mom "Are.. those my clothes?" And my mom was still upset and crying and she said yes and then I guess the entire episode finally registered in my sisters mind and she realized how crazy, sad, and hilarious this story was and so she immediately took a picture (you see everything but the dead squirrel) and began telling everybody about my mom's moment of insanity lol
MerrikBarbarian 9
If she can't handle killing an animal humanely she should call someone who can instead of torturing it. :/ I used to call my neighbor til I learned to do it right myself. I live on a farm and assorted wee furry things end up mangled by farm equipment. I gas them when I can and crush the brain stem or decapitate if I'm somewhere gassing isn't possible. It's not rocket science.
alanmacabre 2
Next time, tell her to just put the head between the bowl and seat and then sit on it.
krissy03 0
That's awesome
blair_x 12
I'm sure being elbow-deep into toilet bowl water is neither appealing to the squirrel or your mother. Drowning does not equate to a much more preferable death, in my opinion. I'd take being injured any day before it came to that.
Dominato 0
Its called a knife,gun or a clean, neck snap.
Bumblebee4ever21 0
What did the squirrel do to her? o.o poor squirrely! How was it hurt? ......she went nuts huh..