Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
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Top comments
lolasains 7
Smart mom you got there.
Sinamoi 18
Poor squirrel...
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Comments (266)
Bekll 31
Was she blond -- dense in the head? Seriously though, she should've brought the squirrel to a wildlife rehabilitation.
kickboxingchick 5
Seriously though, you don't have to be blonde to be stupid. I'm blonde and a straight A student. Does that mean I'm stupid? Because I'm blonde? ?
Bekll 31
That's why I didn't say it. It was to make a point about how inane saying it is.
friedeggyolive 7
I don't know what was wrong with the squirrel to begin with, but it couldn't have been worse than drowning. Drowning is a horrible death!
DontClickOnMe 28
More like **** the squirrel's life.. I can't even imagine what it feels like to die drowning. Poor thing..
kitkatmeOw 8
That's terrible!
xSorry_fml 10
Why would she use her own clothes OP?
xSorry_fml 10
You should read it again. Why would OP's mother use her own clothes when OP's clothes were available? Before trying to display exasperation online, you should make sure you don't like like a moron in your attempt.
ThatGuyRory 9
On the bright side, i heard Cajun Squirrel tastes good...
Livencountry 5
Any squirrel does.
PandaLoverXD 12
Your mother is an idiot. If she really wanted to help that squirrel, she would've taken it to the vet, or killed it quickly with a gun. FTSL and FYL
Jaxx66 21
Why waste a bullet and put a hole in something else? Just break its neck. It's not like it's bones are hard- and that wouldn't of been as painful as drowning it.
s1ckpup 0
she must be a redneck and lives in hillbillyville... Stupid trailerpark beeyotch.
DioxideSpartan 0
If she was a redneck she would have eaten the squirrel
t765234 10
"hey loooky 'ere honey, we gos' us some good eats tonight, hoo' boy"
Jaxx66 21
Yeah. If she was a red neck she would have snapped its neck and skinned it for dinner...
zenrael 21
Burn those clothes.
SSgt 0
It was a squirrel, not the twilight cast.
blink182AAR 6
She tried to suffocate a squirrel that just already went through pain and all you can worry about is your clothes? Maybe you should worry about your mothers stupidity.