Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
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Top comments
jazzy21 0
You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P
AjaxF 0
Well, did you help him cross the street?
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Comments (80)
Yes_I_Own_It 0
ha! old people get away with anything. I bet there is a part of you that actually thought about letting him do it:) am I right? yeah.. I'm right
therealsuperman 0
I don't understand how old people ever need help crossing the street. They're already walking, is moving your legs more difficult when traversing between two streets?
RedPillSucks 33
Some people might take 30 seconds to cross the street and the light might only stay green for 20 seconds, so they may need help to cross faster.
2O12 6
The road is obviously more dangerous than the footpath. Once you're that age you'd be thankful, derp.
DrummerBoy21 0
Ever notice how when there is an FML about old people it's ALWAYS about a Old Man being a pervert to a girl?
Winter3ice 0
That's because if an old lady says something perverted to a guy they get some kind of sick ego boost out of it anyway lol When a guy gets hit on he almost NEVER says "FML" it's usually more like "Awesome" I don't know why chicks are the only ones to get their panties in a bunch hahaha
tesuan 0
Because only chicks wear panties...?
leprecon0 13
hows this an fml??
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I can't wait till I'm old and can get away with saying this stuff. when I say it now I either get slapped or kneed in the nuts.
Winter3ice 0
HAHAHA I wonder if there are as many perverted old men in other countries as there are in Canada. I work in customer service and I have to deal with old guys being pervs all the freakin time. There's just no being nice to people without being hit on any more lol (to be fair old women are just as bad here....I swear some of the things I've heard them say to my male co-workers made ME freakin blush)
Shader57 0
**** or gtfo!
fman484 0
lol yes!
OFF1C3RSLAT3R 4
I was just about to post that. Well played.
grandpaearthling 2
thank you for noticing. oh, you're welcome to touch my junk. but only if your sister has bug *******.
grandpaearthling 2
or big *******. bug ******* by the way are if they are do ******* huge your eyes bug out just glimpsing them
AmeenWhoElse 0
Great to see that men's priorties never change! Now im not worried about aging anymore.
reebokkid123 14
well what'd you do?!