Today, my new girlfriend and I finally did the deed. I also realized today that I have a strange kink. An outie belly button. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML
Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
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Top comments
Studious_Gluteus 20
I don't understand. What's the problem here?
poopface82 25
You like what you like. Just be glad it’s an outie belly button and not some bizarre fetish shit.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
It probably means you secretly want dick. It's ok -- things have been getting better for you people lately.
poopface82 25
You like what you like. Just be glad it’s an outie belly button and not some bizarre fetish shit.
Studious_Gluteus 20
I don't understand. What's the problem here?