Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
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Top comments
MisterEx 28
The directions you gave him were too long. He wanted a shortcut. To between your legs.
Zarcissa 34
Yikes, it's always creepy when someone old enough to be your grandparent suggests things like this.
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Comments (75)
tin_cup 27
Well, what'd you say?
extrasnipes 22
"Sir, it's '**** her right in the pussy!'"
koganti 18
I think, it would be a prank
DoomedGemini 38
Sadly, things like this aren't exactly uncommon.
OptimusSlime 23
How rude
el_bell3618 29
On the bright side, eating you out seemed more important to him than wherever he was going! :D
jelrid 30
Hmm, Probably about as important to him as to where he was coming from.
Zarcissa 34
Yikes, it's always creepy when someone old enough to be your grandparent suggests things like this.
kylo_117 17
So this has happened to you before?
SecundusSecunda 27
Did it work?
HitmanKillsYou 13
some girls are into sugar daddies. look at the girls around Hugh Heffner all the time.
syki 22
@29 Yeah, they're not with him for his looks.
Zarcissa 34
#16: Actually, yes it has happened to me once. Held an door open for an elderly man and he staarted hitting on me. :|
avo323 7
No he didn't
MitchRapp 20
Gross.
DippinGrizzly907 27
Short, sweet, and to the point! As will be my reply to thee! *clicks thumb up*
MisterEx 28
The directions you gave him were too long. He wanted a shortcut. To between your legs.
andrewduncan 16
Maybe he meant can he take you out to eat???
ILikeKoalas 24
I'm glad some of us are optimistic
trucker2 33
Should have licked you finger, and tell him you got it covered.
8313girl 28
Or he'd lick his lips and ask to suck her finger.
fmlfreek101 15
He was probably just looking for a nice place to eat.
MadJessTic 29
Creeper!!!