Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
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Top comments
jazzy21 0
You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P
AjaxF 0
Well, did you help him cross the street?
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Comments (80)
pinkdottedbow 0
YDI, not all senior citizens need help crossing the street.
MzKylz 0
giggity
vhince 0
did you let him?
jiggyjiggz 0
"Today, I was about to cross the street when this prostitute walked up and asked me if I'd like an escort." Perspective.
zzzBOLTzzz 1
Best comment of this fml!
triggerit 5
and butts too
HomeAl0ne 20
I'm deaf. I thought you said "Can I help myself to your feet?".
EvenHopeHides 0
**** or gtfo
bentonfootball 0
Did u let him?
IneffableLullaby 13
What a dirty old man. Truly the Master Roshi of our world. Eugh. DX
haayourlifesucks 0
finally a girl who watches DBZ!
beast195 0
lol damn that old man is a beast