Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
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Top comments
shankzilla 0
why does everybody and their ******* idiot mother use the words 'happy sacks' on this site. its maybe funny the first time they used it; you deserve everything bad that happens to you for referring to your balls and happy sacks.
anniecook 0
I origionally used balls, but i guess the website just loves to write "happy sacks" i have never used those words in my life, trust me. AND TO EVERYONE ELSE: and im sooo very sorry for that horrible epidemic of "They."i really hope the sky doesnt fall
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Comments (79)
Platter 0
You could have reminded her to wear a wig.
AlexZB 0
"they" ? you mean "he" ? are you an idiot, you only helped one person cross the street
quent10 0
fyl but win for "happy sacks"
CaiDog 20
71. Please. OP didn't know what to call the thing he helped across the street, so he called it 'they'. 'it' would have been the proper term, but it's probably the only thing OP could think of. Also, start your own thread instead of commenting on 1.
shankzilla 0
why does everybody and their ******* idiot mother use the words 'happy sacks' on this site. its maybe funny the first time they used it; you deserve everything bad that happens to you for referring to your balls and happy sacks.
flying_vegan 0
I know! It wasn't particularly funny the first time, now it's just annoying. And sacks? Plural? As in two sacks? Two ball sacks? A sack for each ball? Some people have some weird junk...
themantest 0
Maybe the editor changes it
aero_fml 0
Yeah this is starting to piss me off, why change it to happy sacks? There is a lot more ****** up shit going down on this website than reading "testicles" or "nutsack" or "balls". C'mon guys. It's not funny.
anniecook 0
I origionally used balls, but i guess the website just loves to write "happy sacks" i have never used those words in my life, trust me. AND TO EVERYONE ELSE: and im sooo very sorry for that horrible epidemic of "They."i really hope the sky doesnt fall
quazimozart 19
You were right in using it OP, it's proper grammar
SeeBrendenBurn 0
FYL, it's not your fault you're gender confused. =)
DynamicDave 11
YDI 50 times over for using that overused, annoying euphemism "happy sacks." I hope you get hit in the "happy sacks" 402,561,993,002,729.5 more times, or however many times it takes for you to become a man and stop saying happy sacks! Seriously, why cant you just say "nuts" or "balls" like a normal person! GUH!!!!! /rant
bugmenotmofo 34
"Nuts" and "balls"? Don't be such a ******. They're called testicles.
alex_vik 1
I think the mods change it to happy sacks. They've edited "inappropriate language" out of FMLs before.
Blippety 23
Read the replies to #4. OP said he didn't write "happy sacks"; it got changed.
alexandraa_fml 0
Hemaphrodite? Split personalities? :F They!?
DRC84 0
i can't believe this type of crap gets published. Who's in charge here? this one doesn't even make any sense and it's definitely not interesting. He first talks about one guy and then refers to multiple "women." this is plagued with error. "they were a woman?" pathetic. make sense next time and let's try to keep crap from being published. and also, yes, people need to stop using "happy sacks." don't be an idiot.
dspadres 0
Don't complain about how stuff gets put on here or you'll get moderated!! Dun dun DUNNNN!
Coldie 0
There's no other easier way to phrase it in English. "They" is often incorrectly used to refer to a person of undetermined gender, but the practice is so widespread everyone understands it. The only other option is to use "he or she" which wouldn't work at all in this sentence and would completely give away the FML immediately if used.
CaiDog 20
Obviously you use 'it'
alexandraa_fml 0
I didnt realize happy sacks was such a widely used term...
jchansfan 0
Only on FML... :P YDI OP, on multiple levels... lol...
Blippety 23
It's not; the mods change any word that is used that means balls to "happy sacks".
kalel01260 1
YDI for bad grammar.
mura_fml 0
lol @ #7
rontifu_fml 2
sorry, double post. CPU is acting up -_-