Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
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Top comments
Avenging_Angel 0
There are too many holes in this FML: 1. you left the door wide open in a public restroom?! 2. The lady did not feel the warmness and squishiness of your body when she sat down?? 3. You didn't say "******* get off me, bitch?!?" You are just retarded.
r0ji 0
Wow that's pretty extreme.
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Comments (108)
SublimeToInsomni 0
Everyone who says it doesn't make sense is an idiot. Allow me to illustrate; ______ P>___| W> P is poster and W is woman. Arrow shows what way they're facing. The door's lock is broken. _______ P>W>_ The door (like most toilets) opens inwards, so the woman (who either really needs to goor is too obese to turn around) backs in. ______ PW>_ The woman plants herself down on the poster. Either the sheer shock of the whole event combined with the urgency of the woman's need to go or the woman's crushing weight (which may have winded the poster) combined with her obesity causing her ass to have a weakened sense of touch or have gone completely dead (as any fat person who has sat in a slumped position will tell you is common) caused the woman to not notice the texture of the "seat" and the poster to start hyperventilating. And when the poster does, the woman notices and an FML is born. So suck it.
lara_anne 0
ha ha thats hilarious, lol gotta love the diagrams
ashattack23 1
XD win
foryoublue94 0
lol how would she NOT realize that she was sitting on someone else's lap idc if it's fake, it's funny but sick. XD
dancepants 0
lmao, who the hell sits on someone else's lap in the washroom and doesn't notice! That actually made my day, and my friends' day
eeknicole 0
this is so fake. whoever actualy believes this really happen'd to someone is stupid. no one would actualy just sit there while some stranger's naked ass in ontop on them taking a piss/shit and doesn't try to push them off or lay something to them. funny mental image though.
RhymePrime 7
You invalidated this anecdote when you referred to yourself as "yourmom" in the author section. And apparently you don't have arms because anybody with them would extend them to obstruct her descent onto your lap, Lol.
InspiredByGaGa 8
I've had people open the door on me before. Sometimes, the lock is broken or you are in a crappy bathroom where the doors don't align properly, and you can't even lock it!
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
YDI for your username. That 'your mom' business is the single most annoying thing everr.
Traum_fml 0
I dont understand why everyone says your fault you didnt lock the door. It seems obvious that the lock HAD to have been broken because NO ONE goes into a public restroom and leave the door unlocked if they have a choice. I mean I have heard of stranger things happening so I wont say its a fake but is a far stretch.
Buneary 0
Um. If that's real...ohgodew.
LordSlawter 0
I'm sorry, I just found this completely hilarious.