Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Avenging_Angel 0
There are too many holes in this FML: 1. you left the door wide open in a public restroom?! 2. The lady did not feel the warmness and squishiness of your body when she sat down?? 3. You didn't say "******* get off me, bitch?!?" You are just retarded.
r0ji 0
Wow that's pretty extreme.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
imadinosaurrawwr 0
umm ever heard of locking the door? smart
magnis 0
ew.
lemons4eva 0
my mom had that same story ... xcept she sat on som1s lap :0
starberries 0
Why the **** would you not say something when the door opened? Idiot.
Funkylucky 1
you so wanted that to happen...otherwise..why didn't you say anything asap when the door opened!!! you were facing the door right!? lol. Better luck next time haha
KRYPTON1T3 5
why dud she just back in without looking or giving a warning "beep beep beep"
FreakingFYou 13
why wasn't the door locked in the first place?and she must have been pretty big, because she backed in. and that size must have mad her just not feel the cold toilet an instead something warm and squirming. everything must be true... NOT.
babahm_fml 0
Most awesome FML ever!!!!!
gheastonREO 0
Why didn't u lock the door or say something?
raavybaaby_fml 0
what the **** is this? hahaha, so fake.