Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, I got yelled at for 30 minutes while on a date for using the word "bitch." I used it to describe my friend's wife, who will also yell at you for 30 minutes for using a word she doesn't like. FML
Today, I was hanging out with friends of the opposite sex, which is the norm for me as I don’t get along with most women. Every time I spoke, I got ignored or spoken over, and they kept asking me what was wrong. Ugh, men. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML
Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML
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Top comments
UnbrokenRose 13
Good. Mind your own f*cking business, dude.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Bet you wouldn’t have approached them and chewed them out if it had been a table of men.
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Comments (12)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Bet you wouldn’t have approached them and chewed them out if it had been a table of men.
tiptoppc 21
If he had, justice for the public might have been rightly served.
Radulf 10
As the author appears to be seeking a "decent wife," I doubt that he would have had a reason to approach a group of men. :-)
UnbrokenRose 13
Good. Mind your own f*cking business, dude.
TomeDr 25
Although I agree with you about their behavior, you had absolutely no right to go and talk to them at all. What on earth were you trying to accomplish?
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't think a wife is in your future, my friend. With that kind of attitude you might want to commit the rest of your life to a monastery and take a vow of silence.
poopface82 25
Developmentally, the first part of the body that forms in the womb is the anus. We start off as assholes and some of us never evolve beyond that.
PuppiesKisses 19
This is now tucked away in the back of my head for the next time my brother comes over.
core01 30
What gives YOU the right? You tried to control them. I'm glad they laughed at you. You have so much audacity and zero self-reflection.
tiptoppc 21
Incel’s trying damn hard to remain an incel it seems. Well deserved status. Let me guess, you scream at women outside abortion clinics and are likely slapped with an registration requirement whenever you move?
Hangryko 32
Oh, shut the f*ck up. You don't deserve a wife as you are now. Get therapy and wash your *ss.
soundsfakebutok 10
I don’t know who the **** you think you are
ChefEPL 9
I hope they didn’t insult your fedora in the process