Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
So close! You missed the target by 2-3 feet. How did that not induce labor?
ninjacat 10
First off, congratulations on the pregnancy! Secondly, this sort of falls in neither category. It’s not YLS because pregnancy does generally mean you’ve signed up for the inevitable pants wetting incident (either a lot or a little) on occasion. It’s not YDI because I’m sure you didn’t intentionally open an occupied stall.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
So close! You missed the target by 2-3 feet. How did that not induce labor?
ninjacat 10
First off, congratulations on the pregnancy! Secondly, this sort of falls in neither category. It’s not YLS because pregnancy does generally mean you’ve signed up for the inevitable pants wetting incident (either a lot or a little) on occasion. It’s not YDI because I’m sure you didn’t intentionally open an occupied stall.
Chazzster 32
OP, I assume you are aware that sometimes the locks on restroom stall doors are broken aren’t you? When I approach a stall I glance down to see if there are feet - That’s part of the reason stall doors don’t go all the way to the bottom. If there are feet in that stall don’t open the door… I get it that this was unintentional and OP was in a hurry. And that the stall user reacted in shock and surprise. It was unpleasant for both of you, but fortunately no one was really injured.