Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Relaxed
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Oh no…
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
Symphony
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Gas giant
Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
The sweet smell of success
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Take a break
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
How rude!!! You didn’t even offer her a chance to pull your finger!
MisterKnowItAll 15
I bet she's glad that gas rises
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Comments (8)
species4872 20
And now you put her off her game.
MisterKnowItAll 15
I bet she's glad that gas rises
RichardPencil 32
How rude!!! You didn’t even offer her a chance to pull your finger!
coolmike699 26
I'm rrrdt
gobiteme2 34
Did it settle over the office like a heavy ground fog.
Lobby_Bee 18
The noisier they are, the less putrid they smell. Im willing to bet she didn't even smell it.
HappyPickles 11
Today I walked into my Doctor's waiting room, only to be brutally assaulted by the stench of raw sewage. There was a guy in the corner trying to look innocent, and the unusually tall receptionist was out of sight - slumped unconscious in her chair. Not only did I miss my appointment, but now I think I've contracted cholera from the gas in the waiting room. FML.
EnvyMe33 26
Time to find a new doctor because now anytime you go in there, you will be known as the master exploder