Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
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Top comments
Avenging_Angel 0
There are too many holes in this FML: 1. you left the door wide open in a public restroom?! 2. The lady did not feel the warmness and squishiness of your body when she sat down?? 3. You didn't say "******* get off me, bitch?!?" You are just retarded.
r0ji 0
Wow that's pretty extreme.
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Comments (108)
CandyLolita 0
YDI for... 1. Not locking the door, I mean, just leaving it open for everyone to see your nice shiny ass. 2. Not reacting when she SAT ON YOU. 3. Posting an obviously fake FML. How on Earth can this be real? You don't walk into the cubicle BACKWARDS, and there's a HUGE difference between a warm human lap than a cold, hard toilet seat. And since the door was WIDE OPEN for her to just walk in... WTF? LOL @18
black4wolf 0
Are you a guy?
Eaglestrike117 29
Lol exactly my thought.
spazz666 18
There's this little icon in the top right of the FML (I'm on the app, it may be in a different spot on a computer) that's pink. It's a circle that's got a line going down and another forming a cross off that line. Kind of looks like a ****** up one legged stick figure. Yeah, that means "female"
ohhdamn 0
questionable.
Today_i_died_fml 0
So did she have to piss or take a dump or both?
brunocbreis 0
OMFG this can be fake but I laughed so freaking hard.
seb12992 0
Awesome. Oh and FYL.
mccaff135 0
if youre a guy then whats the problem?
allmidnighteyes 11
......What the ****. What. the. ****.
mehwhateverr 0
O_O wouldn't she notice the toilet seat felt... fleshy? and wouldn't you say "HEY. I'M IN HERE"
mc1592 0
im guessing she was on something or she was mentally retarded :/ :(