Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
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Top comments
Avenging_Angel 0
There are too many holes in this FML: 1. you left the door wide open in a public restroom?! 2. The lady did not feel the warmness and squishiness of your body when she sat down?? 3. You didn't say "******* get off me, bitch?!?" You are just retarded.
r0ji 0
Wow that's pretty extreme.
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Comments (108)
r0ji 0
Wow that's pretty extreme.
Eternity_fml 0
I'd probably say this is fake. But otherwise, that's pretty hot.
Lucylove12 0
thats sick.
cheerthefkupism 0
I'm not going to call it fake just yet. I'll take it with a grain of salt, and give you the benefit of doubt. Especially because I personally have been in one of those unfortunate stalls that have broken locks and a woman who must have came in with her friends opened the door, but was standing there with it open talking to her friend and not entering yet, while I'm sitting there going "EXCUSE ME!" from the toilet and then she finally hears me and goes "OH MY GOD! SORRY!" And closes it. People are dumbasses sometimes.
augustdanielle 0
What. The. Hell?!
george456 0
Learn. how. to. use. punctuation!
ryguy997 0
did she actualy piss or crap while you were there? if so FYL hard in the ass.
xxbakmxx 0
that's just wrong man
danyfuckinheatle 0
she wanted to ****.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
what I don't get I why the door wasn't locked? this might be fake.
Crazyjoe33 6
63: that's very true
sea333 3
WTF?
newburton13 26
Go to hell.
nabee26 15
Omg I would've beat the crap out of her!!... No pun intended!! Lol
Eros_fml 0
was she hot?
SonOfAMitch 14
And that kids, is how I met your mother. (This might be just me but I think this is how HIMYM should end :P)
my_fml_account 2
how did she not see you... or feel that you were there? wtf
armageddillo 0
sitting on a person is way different than a toilet seat, I call it fake on those grounds at least.
Popsiclese 0
she was probably really fat and her flab consumed the OP
krazygirl100 9
how did she not see u when se walked in ?
eliz3 0
******* jesus christ, what the **** is wrong with some people???
dnotter 0
she confused your lap for a toilet seat?
mitchiv13 0
she must have been drunk or high
tygerarmy 35
Women do not look where they sit. This is why they bitch about the toilet seat, they don't look and almost fall in. This is why I've seen women sit on many objects, including my friend when she sat on my Mac'n'Cheese. I put it down, opened the door for her, she came in and sat on it. So I believe it. Woman has to go, opens door with bad lock, turns and undoes pants all in one motion. Doesn't look for tp and sits on the Op.
cb7112 2
dude there are doors in public bathrooms!
RhymePrime 7
Maybe it wasn't a bathroom, Lol.
Jjan04 14
Did you even read the FML...? *Facepalm*
CassandraBear93 0
Ditto#6, its called locking the door, she wouldn't have been able to get in if you locked it
Creston 0
...Except that in certain places, the locks are *broken*. Meaning you either have to leave it there and hope no one tries to get in the stall, or post someone there as a watchguard. It is a little unbelievable, but weird things happen, and weird people exist. My principle is to never doubt any FML, it's more fun that way.
Dalarsco 0
So you assume that most people who read FML are looking for or even capable of having fun even after you have read the comments section?
flaschgirl16 0
Nicely stated.--------the numbness of the ass is the best/worst part. lol
dyingstart 0
you didn't say anything?
redbluegreen 41
What the actual ****?
Syoungblood07 0
Awkward!!!!