Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
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Top comments
Avenging_Angel 0
There are too many holes in this FML: 1. you left the door wide open in a public restroom?! 2. The lady did not feel the warmness and squishiness of your body when she sat down?? 3. You didn't say "******* get off me, bitch?!?" You are just retarded.
r0ji 0
Wow that's pretty extreme.
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Comments (108)
LilMonsterGirl 10
I hate locks on public restroom doors.
rachilio 26
holy ******* shit. who the **** doesn't say anything. also what in the name of shit kept u from saying something when she sat on u. when her ass started to go why the **** didn't u at least try to push her off. I'm sorry but I don't believe this but if it's true ur a ******* MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
candylishious765 0
who the f*ck backs into a bathroom stall?
Chela17409 0
Isnt there something called locks on bathroom doors
sootpanda 7
Wait a minute, how the hell did she not notice? o_o
naedangerdavey 0
YDI. Why so Americans never lock the ******* door?
missaabbcc 3
#135: **** you. Americans do NOT purposely leave the door unlocked. You must be a ******* MORON who can't read, because as others have previously stated, public restrooms are usually not in the best shape and have broken locks. A broken lock means that a person can't always lock the door. You are a racist piece of shit. Assuming all Americans never lock the door is racial profiling. You don't hear me saying: "Why don't foreigns proof-read their comments before posting them?"
zfchatroulette 24
American isn't a race you douche nozzle.
nerdy96birdy 8
Bullshit.
beauty_life_love 7
Did she pee on you?!
bigt529 4
how the **** does that even happen???!!! does that woman not feel ypur skin on her ass??