Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
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Top comments
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
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Comments (257)
kennythedude 3
You're 17, and you're scared of the dark? You'd better be really freaking nice to your brother because that may change his mind on planning to show everyone.
Chubtubdaplaya 0
You couldn't have gotten up for 2 secs to crack the door open? Moron
Gingy_fml 0
I srsly dont blame you i'm 16 and my Bathrooms cares the SHIT out of me (we have an Old shower room that drips. reminds me of an old horror Movie.
noelmccartney 3
thanks for adding another FML to my favorites man, what a priceless experience: the darkness, the shit, the tears, your mum, the videorecording and the fact that you're 17. Awesome. lol
tarellel 2
Sounds like a big ******* lie to me, I call this one BS!
doicha27 0
FML mods can suck on my ****. There have been a couple of "oh-emm-gee! i am afraid of the dark yet I'm a young adult in my prime that screams like a little girl!" this shit is not creative, funny, or entertaining. do your ******* jobs and pick shit where someone's life is ACTUALLY, IRREPARABLY, ****** over and there is nothing that can be done. if OP is the captain of the varsity football team then he can just beat the piss out of his little brother and destroy the tape, dvd, memory card, whatever, that contains the footage or he can man up and stop being a pussy when he takes his *****. his choice.
aback 5
Try moderating some, yourself. I do it sometimes if I'm bored enough and I can tell you that a lot of the submitted shit is DISMAL. The mods have to work with what they're given--they can't pull stellar, wonderful FMLs out of their asses. If it ain't there to start with, you do the best with what's there.
BW3Cmart 3
#64 knows what he's talking about.
aback 5
You can't carry a flashlight with you? Let us know when you find out the URL.
davet 0
fake stories are not entertaining. Why is this on here?
yaktazuki 0
Beat the crap out of your brother until he gives you the video or deletes it.
Chubtubdaplaya 0
#70 All the bro has to do is turn off the lights and make him cry again!
elsieenchanted 0
Wait; So are you saying your brother was in the bathroom with you as this happened, and recorded it? How else would he have recorded all that... O.o