Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
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Top comments
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
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Comments (257)
deni_kaos 0
man, pulling practical jokes on you would be sooo easy. you kind of deserve it for being afraid of the dark. you're 17, you should be capable of rational thought by now.
SpieceTexas55 0
Wow you're a disgrace to Texas high school football
yeti09 0
You're captain of the varsity football team, I think you can manage to recover that tape from your younger brother.
bowhuntpa 0
FAG
generalsmith2 0
do you sleep with the lights on you douche?
FlaminYawn 0
why would she need to get u out? That's when u wipe urself 10 good times in the dark, or more, whenever u know u've got it all, and then ur done and can leave the bathroom. You weren't locked in, the light just went out...
dammn 0
LMFAO PUSSY .
Denz_fml 0
I hope he shows the coach...man up!
WitchCirce 0
I'm willing to bet every single person who's commented on this FML calling the OP a pussy or a fag or some other derogatory, insulting name has a phobia. How about we lock you in a room with your most crippling fear and see how you fare?
lolwatlol 0
Go ahead. pro tip: Phobia is an irrational fear to something. Good luck.
frickity 0
that sucks, and FYL, but ... I don't know. I don't think much could stop me from taking that serious shit. Maybe it's just because I'm not afraid of the dark