Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
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Top comments
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
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Comments (257)
Sure_Thing 0
I read this and just had this mental image of the OP and his beloved girl friend sitting in his bed room, parents gone for the evening, and his girlfriend just sexily sits up, and right before she takes off her pants, reaches over and flips the light switch off. I've heard that nothing turns women on like complete mental breakdowns over irrational phobias. But really, that sucks...
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Actually... some women might really get turned on by that. 8D *LOL* We're not all delicate damsels in need of rescuing. ;)
Fail_Pig 0
YDI for burning the light out.
Uepari 0
I moderated this one...
Aoife 0
Hey, it's okay. I have an irrational fear of ants. Almost everyone has weird phobias. Fear of the dark's pretty normal or something, I don't see how this makes him a "pussy." However, I don't think your life is particularly '******', so I'm not voting at all. Also: For those people who ask how his brother recorded it, please, please, PLEASE use your heads. He was wailing, his mom had to unlock the door. He probably filmed his mom picking the lock to the sound of this guy's crying.
kawa_fml 0
poor guy.
lolwatlol 0
Your brother is awesome. In other news, you should kill yourself.
seriouslyFML1 0
so....you are pretty much the biggest ****** ever, you suck at life, 17 and afraid of the dark? if i knew you i'd beat the hell out of you!
DameGreyWulf 1
Dude... If it's a phobia, don't worry about it, maybe people will understand... but if not... Why ARE you afraid of the dark? I guess I will never understand that... I must have been one of the only children to never have needed a night light.
toughluck08 0
Best believe I will be looking for this on YouTube :)
BrutalMofo 0
Hey EVERYONE THAT IS CARED OF THE DARK close your eyes, haha it makes me laugh and its so pathetic when I hear or read that someone is scared of the dark.