Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
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Top comments
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
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Comments (257)
lilsurfergrlsp 3
don't worry, i'm terrified of the dark too :)
Xeph 0
this is too funny
MissArthur16 0
Lol, agreed with #1.... be very very nice to your brother.
diabetic_rage 0
wow dude you fail pretty hard. YDI.
plexico 4
Who else is rooting for a power outage at his next night football game? When the power comes back, I can see the OP curled up in the fetal position on the 50-yard-line. The other team might forfeit due to uncontrollable laughter and your school will end the football program the next day out of shame. They might even change the school's name! See a shrink, dude! We have a lot of power outages here in Texas and eventually you might have a wife and kids (even though that often requires functioning testicles), and they won't find it at all charming, cute or pitiful that Dad is a sniveling coward in the dark. Man up!
_BedSpread 0
Jesus! LOL. I love you too.
qwertyone 0
Better yet, a power outage in the locker room.
plexico 4
Nice touch, qwertyone! ;)
thebeefzoosher 0
Its funny that your brother now has full control / power over you YDI for being a PUSSSSSYY
rotyeqnor 0
haven't seen the vidoe online so as far as i'm concerned this didn't happen
jessicaislameee 0
its okay. sometimes, when i'm in the shower, i'm afraid Chuckie will come and attack me :O
bbyboo_mamaz 0
lmao! i sometimes hav that too xD but this is too funnie xD i love it!
Intoxicunt 6
OP, I looove your name. "Scaredshitless". That almost makes up for you being so nuts.
mister_moops 0
ydi for being a pussy.