Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
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Top comments
holymolybro 0
"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."
chlorinegreen 27
tell her to stand in front of you?
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Comments (318)
tj_20012 0
Ha. That's ******* hilarious. it's probably one of my top favorites now!
Cinn_fml 23
That's kinda funny, if not a little embarrassing. But you know, just get her to stand in front of her, or just hope that the people around you were too drunk to notice or something. At least you've learnt something you like...
hollylollyxoxo 0
in front of you*
Cinn_fml 23
...Yes. *looks around sheepishly*
sirdolittle 0
Wow, she found your 'on switch' ! Lucky her !!!
kykyshay 0
depends on what she looks like.
SassiestLemon 2
238- Apparently not, it worked already.(see original post)
WoolyWhoop 7
At least now you'll never have to worry about 'not being able to get it up'... And your girlfriend knows it.
vi3tno_romeo 5
lol...my dick obey on command!!!
notsoluckypup 12
Hahaha! Wish I could do that to my boyfriend...only not so much in public ;)
creedaddict 9
like my boyfriend saids to me u brought it up you bring it back down lol
Lalala1996 0
I bet he saids that to every girl.
alfa314314 4
^Win
docscientist 10
Can't spell saids without AIDS.
MissBunny25 0
61 lmao
thecovert 7
That's the "Am I gay?" test. Congrats, you passed!
dantheman101 0
look like she has the luck of the Irish.
Somedood117 0
LOL!