Unwanted
🌶️ Spicy
Morning glory
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
RohnAbheek
India 🌶️ Spicy
Hard place
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Denied
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
bob
Fairborn, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
ugh
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Smooth talker
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
bill219
Dallas, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
shallowvomit1013
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Foreplay
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
momaaa1342
Elmwood, United States
Just a prank, again
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
engagedtoafreak
United States 🌶️ Spicy
To each their own
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Thanks dicks
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Top comments
tido26 18
So, you woke up hard, and you think it's "fml" that your partner didn't automatically take care of you? Are they supposed to wipe your butt too? grow up
YessMasster 5
OP did not mention making any suggestions
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
tido26 18
So, you woke up hard, and you think it's "fml" that your partner didn't automatically take care of you? Are they supposed to wipe your butt too? grow up
thinman12345 18
I don’t think that its the fact she said no, I think it’s more a FML how she said no.
YessMasster 5
OP did not mention making any suggestions