Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
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Top comments
holymolybro 0
"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."
chlorinegreen 27
tell her to stand in front of you?
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Comments (318)
portablecupid 3
On the brightside, you now have something new to try in bed when you get home.
matt1990 0
want that erect thing to go uhh, un-erect? think about dead babies. works for me everytime my mom tickels my earlobes. that ***** darn near orgasmic for me.. hope this helps :D
vsx2000goton 0
Dead babies just get me in the mood even more.
ilaleahcim 6
Did no one else notice that he said when his mom tickles his earlobes..?
portablecupid 3
@174 - did you not read the "in public" bit?
chocchipcookies 0
omg #12 is one of those girls that puuutts moooree thaaan 3 ooof eeeaaach leeetter. Agreed, she probs doesn't know what an erection is :l
momma_jess20 0
well thats what you get for having a penis
dansco 25
You kinky sod! Drag her somewhere quiet and get rid of it! ;)
joshswensoon15 0
what a fool.
bryanorange 3
WIN!!!!
tboudre 0
Not an FML.
miki1 0
well someone seems to be a masochist