Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
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Top comments
holymolybro 0
"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."
chlorinegreen 27
tell her to stand in front of you?
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Comments (318)
froob 0
ydi fer not wearing green
Impact_In_3_2_1 2
The biggest, most noticeable erection ever? That's a bit larger than a head is. You should just lean back and enjoy your size while giving pervy half-smiles at random strangers, then.
bananahannahjo 0
LOL! THAT would be funny :)
muffinlizzie 7
Win!
Igor_g5 0
So why is this an FML? So your **** got stiff. No problem.
kinga08 0
Well at least now she knows what she needs to do to get it up quickly, and it doesn't require much physical effort on her part, haha! A lot of girls would love to be in her shoes.
Igor_g5 0
As long as you weren't playing with kids when it happened.
rhpsfan9 10
lmao
Mattskii 0
OP's name is filled with win.
nickdunbar 8
haha i would pinch hers back
jess6blondie9 3
That's a good way go get slapped.
jess6blondie9 3
I meant to not go.
Timmeyh87 0
U sure? ;)
jess6blondie9 3
Yes :)
MissBunny25 0
hahaha I lmao at this thread. I was like dang Jess..
jess6blondie9 3
Haha, I know.
ftb170 0
and that's why your profile pic is with an xbox controller and not a girl lol
flirtybitch101 0
bhahahah so true!
Igor_g5 0
Or were you embarrassed because the biggest hard-on you ever had was so tiny? Now everybody knows how underequipped you are.
mk58 31
Awkward much? FYL!