Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said, "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML
Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
Today, I was recording a video on Snapchat to send to one of my friends, while unaware that my father had walked in behind me. I was talking about how I can’t watch porn anymore because my phone is broken. He now knows too much. FML
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Top comments
JTthePurpleNinja 5
They're just jealous because you're getting some! :)
Epic_Fail911 15
your mom needs a boyfriend
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Comments (163)
JTthePurpleNinja 5
They're just jealous because you're getting some! :)
DynamicDave 11
Your mom is right.
blackbeauty1122 7
this is obviously an A and B conversation C your way out...
bjdavey 8
25- Agreed
DeadxManxWalking 27
27- When it concerns you, it doesn't matter wether it's an A B conversation or anything else
EvilPotato 15
Just change the password?
zombicidal 11
27 now D and E have to F you up G (I need a shower after typing that lameness)
rallets 23
H, I was J K
nalia18 8
L, M, N, O my gosh would you P-lease shut up 27
j_cat187 20
I'm tired of the same old *****, it's sad
DoubleDose 0
Text your girlfriend " my mom doesn't know I have her credit card numbers, credit scores are so easy to ruin now adays"
abbyelizabeth 9
I hate
abbyelizabeth 9
No, her moms right. A girl I know has a file of nudes that she randomly sends to guys. Girls these days, are in fact, *****.
abbyelizabeth 9
No, her moms right. A girl I know has a file of nudes that she randomly sends to guys. Girls these days, are in fact, *****.
kareltje 17
Because that girl you know is a **** doesn't mean ALL girls are ***** ;)
bamagrl410 31
No... Young teenage girls really are ***** these days. Although I guess it's not their fault the media encourages it & they have bad parents who don't pay attention.
Choose_Wisely 5
but then his mom won't have anything else to do with her life
zendaddy0 0
Get a screensaver saying "get off my ******* phone ****" she can't say anything without admitting she has your password
Success4444 12
Or just change the password...
Epic_Fail911 15
your mom needs a boyfriend
gntfmlingnow 12
Change your password? If she ever figured that one out, set your background to an image that says "Get the **** off my phone", and she'll realize she's a bitch
aruam365 24
Why would your mom refer to you as "my son" rather than your name to your uncle? That seems really odd.
1bluesky1 6
Ooor, maybe he didn't feel like putting his name in there for the FML world to see..
aruam365 24
Yeah I'm not saying he isn't. It's weird to refer to your son as "my son" to a presumably close relative rather than his name. Clearly you didn't get my point!
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Oh my gosh! He doesn't want the whole world to know what his name is so he said "my son" instead of his name. When it actually happened his mom probably used his real name. You are thinking way too hard. Just chill
skullcandifiedDJ 5
no, his mom needs a life..
yelz 16
Takes two to tango, just saying :)
deaper 16
I agree with StayAwake! This is apparently just one of those TRYING to be 1st comments that really has SHIT to do with the actual post! So yeah, it takes two to tango… But it only takes one STUPID, IRRELEVANT comment to look like an idiot!
yelz 16
Pretty sure you look like an idiot right now, by having a bitch fit over a comment.
bloodraven412 5
It's completely relevant. Two to tango means it takes two for an act...as in, while the girls may be *****, it's the guy's fault too. It's not like the girls are just seducing the poor bastard, and so, he's a **** too. It may take two to tango, but it only takes one of y'all to look like an ignorant blowhard.
audreyy062 2
Hallelujah 44
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Deaper: u r such a dumb bitch
CryMoreFMLs 15
79 - Fix your sentence before you insult people.
belkinbra 12
According to Geico it takes three to tango.
Scands_59 14
lol High-5 to you #44
dutchkid 6
jealous much?
vinzk_fml 6
Read all her emails and texts.
KittyJay 3
Why? She obviously has no life if she feels the need to snoop in his...
jasminea 0
well change it... and delete those pics :)
deaper 16
Thank you! I was wondering how long it was going to take before someone told OP to just change his pin! Or better yet... Turn off the "Simple Passcode" and set it so you have to actually TYPE the password/passphrase and set it to "I'm a snooping, judgemental b*tch" Then if your mom says "Oh I see you wised up and changed your password… TELL HER what you changed it to!
pretty_coin 11
Doesn't telling her what it has changed to defeat the purpose of changing it?
IndiRae 9
I think that deaper needs to... chill THE **** OUT. I mean... REALLY.
HideouslyHuman 10
Deaper...Your WEEK is going well eh?
YayFlameWarz 9
deaper- You must be new here, generally being an asshole only works if you're funny. Which, sadly, you are not.
ikickgingers 15
Your mom watches too much Jersey *****. Real women do not act like that. Blame the media for your pathetic lack of privacy.
xx255q 0
Your comment was very off context,she's talking about te girls off his phone and how many of them are bening sluty, nothing to do with jersey shore
sakforduc 0
You get a negative thumbs down just for defending jersey shore lol :D
ikickgingers 15
So are you his mom? I. Take it as his mother has his sons password and utilizes it because she thinks girls nowadays are slutty. Is that a learned behavior? Or do girls just act like ***** because all women are *****? When I walk into a store and the girls act/look like snooki- i see them emulating what they see on tv. I personally blame Bad parenting and weak minded girls. I just hate Jersey Shore and I can and will blame it for everything. Example; Gas prices are up - damn those jersey shore ******!!! Prove me wrong, or gtfo :)
rexgar2000 10
moms now days think all girls are *****. shit you could be dating the most innocent and beautiful girl for years but as soonest she puts out and your mom finds out, she automatically thinks she's a ****
JHandAC 4
^ You, sir, are absolutely right. Buuuut- don't send pictures next time, I guess. I'm not saying YDI, because the Mom's ignorant for saying that since that might've been a one time thing- she doesn't know and shouldn't! It's your sex life! But, next time, just.... Do it in person or something. There's not too much evidence *if you're safe*
wtfcammelcheese 0
Um..
miserypoison 13
Soccer mom alert.
xSynergY 8
It doesn't take much effort to change it. On top of that, stop being so predictable.
pretty_coin 11
Ugh nosey parents...