Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
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Top comments
syki 22
I bet you shower nude too, you dirty harlot.
Lilcris11 5
I bet you were born naked dirty hook
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Comments (48)
anonymuse_fml 31
You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means...
AndrasteNyx 18
I do not understand?
tantanpanda 26
Uh, I think you mean OP's mother.
XandWacky 23
#10 we know
anonymuse_fml 31
Princess Bride reference... would be said TO the mother...
ChopSuey444 20
It's so sad when you have to come back to explain your own reference.
anonymuse_fml 31
#70 - especially such an epic reference. I am now sad because I think it is showing my age... and I am not even that old. lol
Taolan 23
If it makes you feel worse, I used "Inconceivable!" in a FB group and had multiple people almost instantly respond recognizing the reference. :3
anonymuse_fml 31
Apparently FML is the wrong forum for TPB references :(
syki 22
I bet you shower nude too, you dirty harlot.
ea247 20
I bet she's naked under those clothes, that ****!
h00tzForOsi 20
Op's mom showers naked too! That hypocritical ****!
refticon 31
Bravo #2 well commented ^^
youdontsay123456 21
You mean, *gasp* you don't shower with clothing on?
interesting33 37
You mean you take your underwear off to pee - you don't just let it filter through the clothing?!!! What a disgrace!
brenton490 19
Did you tell her" Mom I'm not a **** I'm just a commando!".
Lilcris11 5
I bet you were born naked dirty hook
thestoryofacaleb 14
Hook.
O_B_A_M_A 15
What a ****
Dawnoftime 12
A parents pursuit to reform their child's actions only ends at the grave.
HarmoniousMe 11
everything in our lives ends in the grave.
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
Debt doesn't.
Dale_shackleford 13
It does in America
never_three 21
#34, nah it just gets transferred to the next of kin. Your family gets your debt, my nana is still paying off all my papas credit card debt.
anonymuse_fml 31
#43 I pay insurance on my student debt so if I die, the debt is cleared.
R2Y2 22
Your mom sounds like a bitch.
Tripartita 45
I tend to agree with her, OP. I don't believe in sleeping naked before you've married your bed. Are you at least engaged?
HarmoniousMe 11
or at least in a seriously committed relationship? maybe a domestic partnership?
UserError94 18
We can only hope she used sheets for protection
Billie-Jo 9
😂
drchinky888 9
Leave her and run away. I don't think she values you. Just kidding, she would be overprotective for you.
hipposteve 21
Your mom is hating :P give her a snickers
cole66 14
hey, she is the one who got in bed with a man.