Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
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Top comments
jackii1313 9
Try keeping the noise level down next time? At least you weren't rude to your girlfriend and checked your phone.
Bekll 31
Now all your friends know too. Well, time to unfriend mom.
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Comments (65)
jackii1313 9
Try keeping the noise level down next time? At least you weren't rude to your girlfriend and checked your phone.
ShakeMeDown 12
I've seen this video... I mean...
nonelikeworms 0
Why were you having sex with your mom at home?
DKParth13 5
Am I the only that have parents stalk my profile ?
LiveLaughFML 10
doesn't matter. you still had sex and your mom never came up. =)
36591951 9
Is it an FML because your mom posted it on Facebook or because you got caught?
rkmepm 16
21, I think it's both. Both are equally embarrassing
Yodaevil 4
If you're a big boy and can have sex, then you're big enough to get your own place!
SCREAM4meeee 0
11- watch your wording. Some may believe that OP was having sex with his mother.
cinderella10383 6
Ummm maybe they were visiting his parents for holidays or something... And if he's an adult and wants to have sex who cares ... It's obvious his parents have sex people need to relax on the sex while parents are home it's not that big of a deal of they are of age
Darjdayton 0
He wasn't having sex with his mother retard.
SCREAM4meeee 0
55- why you so dumb?
hollisterfreak52 1
Haha this comment has 69 likes(:
thatsphuckedsoba 0
Dick
Notjustanother1 0
don't most guys brag about getting laid when they are young I'm assuming young because you live with mother .... or did you keep going hoping your mom would come n join ?
MaggTob2011 0
l
indistructo 3
well pay more attention now...
jasleex 0
Had a root yet ? :/ obviously not...
Bekll 31
Now all your friends know too. Well, time to unfriend mom.
booiloveeyou 0
well then keep it down goddamnit
Luke1717 0
Why would you have sex with family home? If they didn't hear you then she would probably end up walking into your room
DjeePee 25
I have sex with my family home. It's just that 1) they never leave the house on the right moment and 2) I can't affort an own home yet. Same story with my boyfriend. It's not that I like it, but I prefer a private, comfortable and warm room instead of a cold, wet spot in a public place.
belkinbra 12
I hate it when I can't affort things either.
cinderella10383 6
I agree with DJP on this matter it's just sex if you are of age then what's the big deal? Parents have sex too when their children are home geez
remz89 3
Here's the difference, THEY OWN THE HOUSE....
raney150 0
So you have to own a house to have sex? Nonsense!
Torva_fml 16
**** twice as hard and loud next time, you'll really show her! ;)
IscoreOnU 19
Yeah show her when she goes up there to yell at them and sees them boning. Its a great show btw.
rcbarnes 24
LMOA, Oedipus, is that you?
lolitroll_fml 0
This is why i didnt friend my mom...
FYLDeep 26
Because you make too much noise having sex while she's home? That seems like a really specific reason.
leadman1989 16
So she did let you finish? I wonder how she kept up all that screaming with a dislocated jaw?
RedPillSucks 33
"Kept up all that screaming"? He wasn't having sex with his mom, and it clearly said he didn't check the message until they were done. Are you telling me that 1. You would stop having sex to go confront your mom. 2. You would violently attack your mom because she "interrupted" you having sex in "her" house?
leadman1989 16
Is this what people thought I meant??? WTF people? No it was a reference to another FML... the one where the girlfriend dislocated her jaw giving a BJ. I think you're clever enough to figure out the rest for yourselves. -_- But then again maybe not.
Torva_fml 16
Lead, gotta reference somewhat recent comments, or at least popular ones... People tend to forget dumb fmls.
leadman1989 16
This WAS recent lol... but I get what you're saying.
2O12 6
Well at least she didn't feel the need to barge in your room right?
Savra_fml 17
That's what fathers have been doing lately.
jonn090 13
Ignore her keep milking that bitch
ThreeSheetsGone 12
He did. Kant yu reed gud?
jonn090 13
Can't you spell good
The_Troller 14
Can't you use a question mark (?)?
laneylovesu2 3
I hate to be a pain but.... can*
brinda08 5
Actually, "can't you" is the same as saying "can you not". It makes perfect sense.