Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
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Top comments
ColbyGB 13
Like mother, like daughter
firechicky 12
look at it this way, maybe one day you can tell your younger brother/sister you heard their conception.
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Comments (38)
samreimer 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If it helps, I'm sure you were giving him some great ideas?
miketopgunmike1 25
You might want to re-read that... It wasn't op's boyfriend it was her mom's
soulebelius 17
What a waste of a comment.
MrSassypants 34
#14 So was your comment, mine, his comment, her comment, that guy's comment, and those people's comment. A comment doesn't really have any significant value so it can't really be a waste. Then again, I might just be acting like a **** again.... then again, I do like acting like a ****...
Dusty_Busters 15
#16 yea we can tell, #1 just didn't make sense
mixinitup 12
Your sense of humor is just...amazing.
Ambiguous404 6
I knew as soon as I read the FML that someone was going to misread it! It happens atleast once on every FML involving 2 boyfriends, 2 husbands, a pair of sisters and one of their husbands etc.
Ambiguous404 6
I knew as soon as I read the FML that someone was going to misread it! It happens atleast once on every FML involving 2 boyfriends, 2 husbands, a pair of sisters and one of their husbands etc.
ameyer13 8
well it could be worse
MrSassypants 34
Like, meteors could have crashed into your house OP. Never forget about meteors.
Oohyeahh 5
knock knock
TheBrochure 22
Who's there?
AthiestNun 11
I wouldn't open the door if I were you.
_DudeGuy_ 16
I wouldn't open the door if I were you. Who?
yanksby7 6
I'm not sure what sending dirty texts to your boyfriend has to do with hearing your mom have sex.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Uhhh..... it killed her mood, maybe? Just maybe? I hope you and #13 don't plan on breeding any time soon.
yanksby7 6
That wasn't made clear though. It sounded more like she just wanted to say she had a boyfriend than it was a mood killer. Hearing your mom get it on is FML enough. If she had wanted to, she could have easily said: "Today while sending dirty texts to my bf, I realized I was hearing my mom having sex with hers. Mood. Killed. FML"
untouchable763 10
Never gonna forget that I'm sorry OP.
firechicky 12
look at it this way, maybe one day you can tell your younger brother/sister you heard their conception.
MrSassypants 34
Who doesn't want those type of bragging rights?
profoundkisses 18
You can't unhear that, can you
feelingold 18
giggity giggity
ColbyGB 13
Like mother, like daughter
hannahsnyder69 16
My thoughts exactly. Now OP just has to have her boyfriend over and give her mom a taste of her own medicine. ;p
SmittyJA24 26
The surest way to ruin a moment: think about your parent(s) *******.