Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said, "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML
Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
Today, I was recording a video on Snapchat to send to one of my friends, while unaware that my father had walked in behind me. I was talking about how I can’t watch porn anymore because my phone is broken. He now knows too much. FML
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Top comments
JTthePurpleNinja 5
They're just jealous because you're getting some! :)
Epic_Fail911 15
your mom needs a boyfriend
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Comments (163)
Aragno_fml 5
What was your phone doing in the kitchen?
dixiefoxx 22
Dude, fail. The OP even said it was in his room
dixiefoxx 22
He was in his room, like, he was in his room and his mom and uncle were in a nearby room or in the hall, if you want to crack a joke, please, do it at the right time
SolanumX 6
Dixie I think you missed the sexism in that comment.
KaelaKhaotic 5
I would totally disown your mom. She doesn't have the right to do that. What a nosy bitch.
me_the_maniak 14
now you dont need to hide anything from her ;-)
KELSEYJOHNSON23 5
Time to change your password?
BigGrouchy 0
Was you sayin ur mom was a **** or did she say ur gfs were *****??? Maybe u should change password
LTpast 3
I like where 24 was going with this, but instead just tell her you were making it look like you were boinking so many girls to hide the fact that you're gay from her. (for a bonus say you let her find out your password on purpose)
QueenSaru 28
1) Phones have passwords? 2) Where is your phone that you don't notice your mom looking at it constantly? 3) If you're sexting, I find it very telling that the GIRLS are the *****, and yet she says nothing about you. Someone (of any sex) isn't a '****' just because they enjoy sex.
Braginskyyy 6
iPhones have passwords, and some other phones do.
landooooo 5
Sexting. Trading pics. Cyber-******. A virgin's bestfriend.
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
Well put
Enslaved 38
Now you know to guard all your private things because mom's a snooper.
xoxokrysta95xoxo 3
Ha well not gonna lie girls can be ***** these days. But don't stop saying or doing or sending things just because your mom knows your password. If she doesn't like what she's reading, she could stop.
QueenSaru 28
There's no such thing as a ****, FYI. It's a word that was made up in order to shame people who have what society deems as 'too much' sex, or 'too many' partners. What people do behind closed doors (house, car, or otherwise) is absolutely no one's business but their consenting partners.
JinxosGirl87 0
Until they give you an STD from all those partners. Bet you won't refrain from calling them a **** then.
QueenSaru 28
I would presume if you were sleeping with people you would be questioning their past history/wearing a condom/etc. A person isn't a **** for catching an STD. If someone had one unknowingly because their partner cheated and passed it to them, and then they gave it to you, does that make THEM a '****'? Practicing safe sex is what's key, not getting on a moral high horse over how much or how little sex someone else is having.
Babushka_Homyak 10
That's what condoms are for. They're great when used properly. Edit:#71 you beat me to it. Well said.
bizarre_ftw 22
Might I just mention... It's not always behind closed doors! :)
SolanumX 6
Queen, I could be wrong, but I think that having tons of partners has been proven to be psychologically harmful. And it does help the spread of STD's, even if you use condoms.