Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
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Top comments
MrSarary 26
You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.
LOLouis_fml 24
Sounds like a killer conversation!
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Comments (80)
martin8337 36
Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight.
Sora_McKain 36
Exit light Enter night Take my hand We're off to never never land
cjfred 13
The good news: it was probably all in good fun. The bad news: they consider plotting to kill you to be "good fun"
grumblebum 16
Send them a letter from the "Government" telling them that the spy satellites recorded their conversations.
NonoMeow 18
That would be amazing.
EgyptianPride98 8
Hahaha those are siblings for ya. The other day, my little sister was asking me what it's like to be 17 (it was my birthday), so I told her that it's the exact same as yesterday, except I'm one year closer to death. She replied, "Or closer...you'll know when it comes...yeah you'll know, you'll know..." And then there was an awkward silence.
a_nice_guy 18
What's your death wish???
dirtbikechica69 5
thats sketchy!! keep ur guard up.. and most def listen to "how" they r going to kill u so u know when its coming!!!
SCbaseball6 8
I was scared this was gonna turn into an incest thing. You scared me for a second OP. Hope you live
abug123 5
Why the heck is every one saying ma instead of me?
danacorin33 7
I hope jokingly because people are really crazy nowadays
ObsidianMoon17 12
Put your hand on their foreheads XD