Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rocker_chick105 31
Why are kids on FML so damn insane?!
ffffffffck 13
they just say stuff like that to see your reaction. make sure to answer her truthfully. tell her it's hurtful and upsetting to be told that. she just needs to learn.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
ffffffffck 13
they just say stuff like that to see your reaction. make sure to answer her truthfully. tell her it's hurtful and upsetting to be told that. she just needs to learn.
Nordrag 26
or, the truthful answer to tell her is simply "Not if I kill you first." said while giving the death glare.
ffffffffck 13
Thats always an option. Or tell them "Not if I kill myself first" then go get some ketchup and a big knife, paint your face and take a short nap on the floor. Cue childhood trauma.
Sports_guy3 28
I hope she was kidding.
goose12321 11
Yeah because children are rational and listen to reason... I doubt if OP said this that she would turn around and suddenly be all apologetic and nice.
ffffffffck 13
I didn't say they should start to reason but to tell them straight that saying things like that upsets other people. It's not about the logic, it's learning to emphasize.
Wakachulak 22
Er, no. The kid said that because she just watched Regular Show. I know, I saw the same episode.
savysnugglebear 10
Actually according to most psychologists, depending on the age of the child. They don't always realize that what they say or do affects other people. The only way to show the child what they did wrong is to discipline them. Either by timeout out, call the mother, or something of that sort.
Vashen 5
#1 are you one of those people that sends kids to their rooms or gives them time outs if they've done something wrong? "No Johnny. Now you go sit in the corner and think about what you have done!". I say kick their ass, tell them why they're getting it and let them think before talking again. Stop nannying them IMO.
ShadowFlame275 18
#94 And then get reported for child abuse.
Vashen 5
95 - I got disciplined when I was younger. I turned out alright. The occasional smack is fine.
rocker_chick105 31
Why are kids on FML so damn insane?!
CommentModerated 17
Because nice sane kids don't say things that leave people feeling like their lives are f'd
Dthsapprntc 23
Today, the kid I babysit came up to me and gave me a hug and said "I love you", FML. Doesn't really work, does it?
strike2867 13
Not every kid grows up to be a CEO, some kids grow up to be #56623816.
J_Kertz 14
Maybe this was the same little girl that couldn't stop laughing when she was covered in pigeon blood.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
40- What the actual **** is wrong with children these days? This is why I don't want kids.
mackdeezy 22
Reminds me of the FML where the parents casually mentioned the daughter believes she gets posessed.
Monieee_13 12
LMAOO I remember that!! Had me rollin
4x4kid 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Geez somebody was dropped on their head a couple times
Rainhawk94 27
Yea, you
kozzard 17
tell her to bring it on, and prepare for a battle for the ages.
amayasoma 19
Call her bluff. I would say make your own idle threat but the brat will most likely tellher parents..
Anth6ny 9
Did you call a preist?
StompinOnCrayons 15
Nah, the church ran out of "preists" , they were too busy dealing with "satin"
AntiPrude 26
Kill them.
Dracoboxer357 36
Yeah, that's a sign of a normal, healthy upbringing. May I recommend obviously not sitting for them again? ;p
Myo_fml 20
Or maybe calling CPS. O.o
TwistedCherub1 15
Wow! Kids are weird. They pick up things from TV and movies, even when their parents don't realize they're watching/listening. It's sad that every time a kid has any kind of "abnormal" behavior, someone wants them taken from their parents. Not everyone parents the way you want. Letting a kid watch a crime drama or action movie isn't abuse.
wolfheartmoon 12
To be fair, "abnormal" and "I will kill you and show my brother the dead body" aren't really on the same level.
Odis12 11
CPS? The kid seem capable of self preservation. OP is the one that needs the protection.
TwistedCherub1 15
She said something she probably worked out after seeing similar threats in movies or on TV. It's still not reason enough to take her away from her parents.
your_ma 27
Oh dear, if only she was just a small child then you would know that you have literally nothing to be worried about. Oh, wait.
IworkAt711 14
I don't know...... I've heard plenty of stories about kids killing people.