Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
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Top comments
MrSarary 26
You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.
LOLouis_fml 24
Sounds like a killer conversation!
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Comments (80)
vlalam 24
So what's the plan?
Brandi_Faith 34
At least op knows the plan and can now go on the offensive! Outwit them op.
xluciferx666 21
We have a turd in the punch bowl I repeat a turd in the punch bowl
prettyReckless96 10
Ah good old fashioned sibling love
EarlFug 19
The good news is you have your own room. Might want to jam the door like you're in a zombie movie.
ECHOSPiiKES 19
How cute!
Qball56 10
What are you smoking?
Desi_D123 27
Well...was it a good plan OP?
KatieeMoe 14
I say keep an eye on, op.
britbrat237 14
That's sinister right there
TrippingOnAcid 29
I though this FML was going to end in OP overhearing incest. Seems pretty tame now. Starting to think maybe I'm the sinister one.
MSHUKRI 11
Well tbh I share a room with the spawn of satan saying to use a knife And no it's not cute (General statement)
ThatDamHuntress 20
Sounds like something I would do to my brothers but, you might want to sleep with one eye open tonight.