Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
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Top comments
CountDuk 5
Giving an all-new definition to the term "shitfaced"
cornedbeef2016 5
I think its time for some new face cleaner.
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Comments (126)
Natalle11 6
Brown nose!
claudzzzz 5
hahahaha I'm sorry but that's hilarious to me for some reason
zombiekitten87 12
Hmm. Yeah. That's messed up for all kinds of reasons. When you say "loofah," I imagine you mean one of those hard, tubular sponges, which would make me wonder about him and why he feels the need to viciously exfoliate his ass crack... Also, why would he ever think it was ok for him to wash his ass crack with anything you might use to wash your body?
outoftown 27
I was thinking the same thing. Time to ask him what other items he has been using -- and how.
loserboii 11
I would use scissors for pubic hair, i'd hate to accidently cut my butt with those.
88vivera 9
Make sure u get a new face cloth
jmcr 27
Ewww thats gross
gmc_blossom 21
Thanks. We all appreciate your input.
DarkMarkInTheSky 9
You don't say?!
Austyn57 1
ha ha ha ha awsomnesss lol
Mycman100 7
now thars moisture
jarockstar27 10
He couldn't have bought his own loofa for his ass, seriously? How lazy and inconsiderate is he?!
gmc_blossom 21
He is so lazy and inconsiderate that he used his girlfriend's loofah to clean his ass crack.
walmartpaysme 15
I really hope you were joking, 34.