Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Today, I went to go soak my dentures because I fell asleep wearing them last night, only to find that my boyfriend threw away the container they were in, thinking it was trash. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
itooamscrewed 10
Why would a loofah be in his way in the shower? Why would he use a loofah to clean a toilet? Why would he throw something near a trash can instead of in it? Why does he throw things out of the shower? So many questions OP. All of them are FYLs.
earljonez 22
Sounds like your husband is very aloof
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
sugarshugar 11
*incoming shitty situation puns*
BoxFullOfLazy 25
*incoming down votes*
mh_2323 13
Well that's just shitty...haha I would suggest taking another shower
earljonez 22
Sounds like your husband is very aloof
negb 30
At least he cleaned the toilet!
TonierShadow 19
Sounds like the start of a shitty day.
nreed32 20
Next time the toilet needs cleaning I suggest you use his toothbrush.
Pentium_4 27
if he meant to throw it away and it was only "near" the bathroom trash, then he really needs to work on actually throwing things away lol
feven 32
Probably not a good idea to pull anything out of a bathroom trash anyways.
smallandroid 26
OP said it was near the trash, so I'd assume it was just sitting on the floor, maybe.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Okay, but still. It's been sitting on the floor for who knows how long. Why would you wash yourself with it?
SamSwebb 24
Oh jesus, no no no no no nope! Time for some payback
Tripartita 45
That'll teach him to throw gross things away!
UserError94 18
Yesss! Put a little AIDS infected blood in his next syringe! That's always a killer with the gang!
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Dafuq? This escalated too fast for me to keep up.
acerredrum 23
He didn't throw it away though, OP said it was next to the trash. So he took something that belonged to someone else, used it to scrub the toilet and then dropped it on the floor. You can't blame OP for that not being the first conclusion she jumped to.
Tripartita 45
Fair point, #27.
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
Yes you could do that, 14 but then again, the wife would then have a chance of contracting AIDS when having sex with her husband.
FalloutScrolls 25
I refuse to make a "shit" pun about this horribly crappy situation.
ShleeG 23
So you make a crappy pun instead?
HoboMeth 36
Why are you taking a bath in the toilet? No but seriously, that's disgusting
domolovesyoshi 33
Er I don't think you've read the FML correctly, I kindly suggest you go read again slowly.
jadenjacksonm 14
This actually made me laugh a little. But agreed with #33