Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
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Top comments
CountDuk 5
Giving an all-new definition to the term "shitfaced"
cornedbeef2016 5
I think its time for some new face cleaner.
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Comments (126)
maybso 0
simple solution put his tooth brush in your ass an in a few weeks suggest a new one
MaleficZero 0
Pretty sure I've seen this same FML before.
fester420 2
An ass crack is cleaner than a face. Your hands and face are always the dirtiest parts of your body.
Shade1982 21
For the love of all that's holy, I seriously hope you are joking. How dirty is your face??? First off, your butt is not that clean. It has been mentioned to be clean, because you wipe it, but since you have no visual confirmation, you will never get it all. Secondly, don't you wash your hands? Fingernails would be dirty in that case, but where do you put your face if it's just as dirty as your hands???
cjlikeschairs 5
Who uses a loofah on their face? That's just weird.
Psufans 7
Maybe u are the term buttface
Circles 18
YDI for dating such a filthy pig. What a great boyfriend - not telling you this stuff