Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
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Top comments
CountDuk 5
Giving an all-new definition to the term "shitfaced"
cornedbeef2016 5
I think its time for some new face cleaner.
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Comments (126)
Goldenchest 14
Kinky
143dav 8
More like gross..
sens3sfailing 25
When's the last time you ever heard of a fetish for wiping a loofa used to clean someone else's face...never mind...knowing people, there is a high chance that exists...
heygirlie777 21
Oh, you'd be surprised by some people.
_Oblivion_ 12
Nothing a little tobasco can't fix. Get one for yourself and give him the hot one. Payback is a bitch haha
Futacy 30
1- That's a pretty weird fetish you have their.
sens3sfailing 25
41-pardon my ignorance, but what is rule 34 or where can I find it?
sens3sfailing 25
41-pardon my ignorance, but what is rule 34 or where can I find it?
HowAreYouToday 34
1- I read your profile, and I have to say *cue British accent* "Bow ties are cool." 71- Urban Dictionary, big if you're a lazy mo-fo, it says basically that if it exists, there is some variation of **** about it.
sens3sfailing 25
Lol, that's pretty funny, thanks for the insight...into fetish ****...I think...
Kristabug91 1
Don't you think it would smell different considering you're using it on your face?
Rainbow_Magic 8
*facepalm* Rule 34 not rule 35. Rule 35 means that there's no **** of it, not that there is.
cornedbeef2016 5
I think its time for some new face cleaner.
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
And a new boyfriend
Nevermind212 11
And a lesson in etiquette
Drigr 9
26 - you must be new here, so let me fill you in. First off, breaking up with someone over stupid shit like that is just retarded. Yes, what the guy was doing was dumb and he should have bought his own for something like that, but no one would ever be with anyone for very long if they listened to people like you on FML whose first response is "dump them!" Oh, and secondaly, **** you. You have now been properly initiated
klovely22 13
26- You must go through a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends if you dump them for little things like that.
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
**** you
HowAreYouToday 34
26- did your cat walk across the keyboard when you were typing in your username or did you have a seizure?
SanchoClaus25 6
That is disgusting!
Goldenchest 14
Ok, I'm sorry.. but WHAT is that in your profile pic?
Nutz101 7
Just like your profile pic
soccergurrll 8
Seriously I thought the same thing....... WHAT IS THAT
winnerme123 8
Looks like a fat lady getting a blow-job.
booboo2464 3
...
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
That guy was obviously very tired of the stereo, and we all know: desperate times call for desperate measures.
lelo007 11
It's a fetish. I don't remember the exact name, Squashing, maybe? It's when a guy gets off by basically being smothered by a morbidly obese woman.
mpj13 8
That's really disgusting. Did you get pink eye?
COOL__Coal 12
Do you know how to get punk eye?
COOL__Coal 12
*pink
mystashisgone 6
The bacterial form of pink eye can be spread by getting fecal matter into your eye. Seeing as how she said she used it on her face he/she seems totally justified in asking that question.
BunchieRules 31
50 - You get punk eye by getting socked in the face after acting like an idiot.
PinkieKeen 20
Hey did you hear about that new disease? Punk eye? Yeah it has nothing to do with eyes, it's just a new fad after a retard spelled pink wrong on FML.
BunchieRules 31
Hey 92, did you hear about that new disease? It's called "nosenseofhumoritis". I think you might have it.
PinkieKeen 20
113 - Holy shit my comment was stupid. And yeah, the tests came out positive for 'nosenseofhumoritus'.
tomhofer 14
that stinks
thrashtildeath 9
wow ! really ?
Natalle11 6
Literally(:
walmartpaysme 15
Apparently not, since OP didn't notice until he told her.
CountDuk 5
Giving an all-new definition to the term "shitfaced"
Feared 9
You should spray the loofah with hot sauce. Sometimes negative reinforcement is the only answer.
walmartpaysme 15
At this point, I think OP will just be throwing it away.
FlavorlessPie 7
I feel like an idiot for asking this question, but what's a loofah?
walmartpaysme 15
65, you have Internet. Google it.
Pleonasm 36
She'll be the butt of all jokes for a while. And the jokes on her! Really...
DarkDaedalus009 8
Gross that's like imagining his ass is on your face and claiming it's clean
softpaws 17
He wants you to kiss his ass! :D
CalamityJanette 4
At least he told you?...eventually.
BunchieRules 31
And now that OP knows, she will never be able to wash that mental image away... at least, not with that same loofah.
outoftown 27
OP may never be able to see his ass without this image coming to mind.
Iknowsomestuff 9
So... he knew the whole time it was wrong but waited weeks to mention it? That loofah should take one more trip to his ass, just a little further up this time.