Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a picture with my friend. Her camera can pick out a certain color and only have that color show up in the picture. She chose yellow because of the yellow on my dress. When she showed me the picture, the sash wasn't the only yellow thing; my teeth showed up, too. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, there was a 4 year-old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
weinerdog 2
I was afraid you were gonna say he was pointing at an Asian person.
KeithHarris 0
You might need a toothbrush
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Comments (106)
KeithHarris 0
You might need a toothbrush
kmj84 3
lol that's little kids for you. you might want to get that taken care of though.
ronnie8701 0
this isn't an FML, you deserve it for not brushing your teeth!!!
Jiplo 18
This isn't a comment, you deserve it for not thinking it out!
Dukedj 0
Hate to say it, but why do you have yellow teeth? You can brush them, you know.
VolleyballSMASH 1
they also invented these amazing things, there called toothpaste, floss and whitestrips.
Kiernan151 25
Know I'm a bit late but, some people just can keep their teeth white. I brush three times a day, floss and use mouthwash, but my teeth are still yellow.
weinerdog 2
I was afraid you were gonna say he was pointing at an Asian person.
ClaireBear9087 0
hahaha you win
WaltzingPhanthom 23
Oh my God that is so freaking funny although I'm Asian.
Marshallino 24
My thoughts exactly! LOL.
begrunge 0
that's not all that big of a deal... a bit of a lame FML...
spacetaco 0
What's the worst that could happen? He didn't say that out loud on the plane. Kids say ignorant things. If you want to get the best of this situation, how about you try to brush your teeth more?
MaddieMonster 0
#8 agreed. But hey those are the kinds of things you sign up for when you become a dad. Apparently when I was a young jasper I called my mom a cow.
albokid 0
HAHAHA Funny Shit
rebecca_fml 0
All little kids say things like that to their parents. It's funny and a bit of a self-esteem downer. but not really an FML.