Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
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Top comments
CountDuk 5
Giving an all-new definition to the term "shitfaced"
cornedbeef2016 5
I think its time for some new face cleaner.
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Comments (126)
FalconSam1414 19
There are two blue loofahs in my shower, and I distinguish mine from the other because the string came off of mine. I feel bad for you, that's beyond gross. I shall click "I agree, your life sucks" as an act of sympathy :)
bleachfreeblonde 6
Well, at least that acne you were trying to scrub off should clear up now that your pores won't be clogged with shit particles....
iiTzNeeNerz 26
So that's how the term "Assface" came into play...
Sheh_fml 25
He didn't at least pay for your new loofah as an apology? Also, am I the only one who wonders just how little he cares about hygiene since he didn't seem to have found anything wrong with sponging his ass with your face-loofah and giving it back (aka not telling you) in the first place?
walmartpaysme 15
He cares about HIS hygiene, he just doesn't care about OP's hygiene apparently.
japtap81 16
Ok so u wash ur face with it, I presume u put soap on it. Well don't u wash it out after each use? If u do then it's clean, and if he washed his ass in the shower with it and washes it after then there shouldn't be a problem.
stewpididiot 11
I was KIDDING when I told her that! !! I use it to scrub my nutsack !!! JEEZ !! It's not like she's never licked there either !!!
babyseal112510 1
I think you should both buy lofahs.
kyat288 9
when I read this to my mom, she subcontiously said "what an asshole!"
stewpididiot 11
Subwhat ???
outoftown 27
Translation: Mom instantly said, "What an asshole." She said it continuously. (I'm guessing Mom said that as she went to the bathroom to toss her loofah.)
walmartpaysme 15
83, I hope you weren't trying to say subconsciously.
SApprentice 34
Ugh, ugh, that made me shiver. I have such terrible health, if that happened to me, I would get very ill. Geez, I don't know the relationship, but considering the vast load of unpleasant, and often deadly, bacteria that he exposed you to, I would say leave him. He honestly could have killed you.
PseudoLink 1
Hahahaha