Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
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Top comments
CountDuk 5
Giving an all-new definition to the term "shitfaced"
cornedbeef2016 5
I think its time for some new face cleaner.
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Comments (126)
RosaYobany9288 2
Wow! That sucks. Sorry OP.
devydev92 5
Buy two loofahs then, different colors. A brown one for his ass crack and whatever color you want for your face.
wellfuuucckme 7
If he needs a brown one Someones not cleaning there ass right ...
devydev92 5
I just said a brown one so he'd remember it was for his ass haha
Ajwc101 24
At least he told you sooner rather then later.
walmartpaysme 15
I think after weeks we can officially call this "later".
liftedyoda 5
Thats just gross scrub your ass with his tooth brush then tell him 2 weeks later
zombiekitten87 12
Yeah but seeing as he's her boyfriend, she might want to kiss him at some point.
Inciter 33
That's disgusting. Hope you don't get an eye infection.
AphyTheBronette 15
Or contract e.coli?
LiterOfCola 16
Haha I modded this one and pushed no cause it was so poorly written... They cleaned it up quite a bit
Ebola_fml 20
Congrats
LiterOfCola 16
I'm not sure why I'm thumbed down.. It always interests me how each FML is written so I can somewhat determine the intelligence of the OP. I guess I am alone
LiterOfCola 16
Screw you 29.
wendybox 2
wendybox.com "No way! Hotties, here is your choice, ★101 degree hotter★ than others at the 2012 Halloween.
Enslaved 38
You should be happy he cleans his ass so well. Those loofah are great for scrubbing! Stinky booties are the worst! *sniff sniff blah* :P Sorry about it being the one for your face.
andiewithlove 21
Your name is funnier than this FML...
JustDerpin 11
Why are you crying? :(